Kiss And Tell [BoyXBoy]

.:15:.

I could feel myself getting light headed all over again, bringing back memories from the previous day. HIV? HI-fucking-V?

There was no way this could be happening. Surely, this could not be true. The misfortune, the rape, the public humiliation. Now this too? I thought I disliked my life before, but this hatred just escalated to a completely new level.

I did not want to live. I did not want to be here. I wished everyone just forgot about me and it was like I never existed. I knew that these were just impulsive thoughts but I was certain that the next bottle of pills I laid me eyes upon would be going straight down my throat.

"What do you mean 'HIV'?" Lynn was the first to speak, appalled. Both her and Vic stood up from their places, probably feeling childish. I was just frozen in place, my mind stopping all thought process and all I could do was watch the events which unfolded before me.

"We tested his blood and found that the HIV virus is present," the Doctor basically repeated what he said before, making sure it would sink in with all of us.

A long moment of silence passed. Even the always-energetic Lynn looked upset. Me? I was completely shattered. What would this mean for me and my career? What if it developed into something worse like AIDS? I guess I was lucky the doctors found out about it so fast, that way I could start the treatment I needed as quickly as possible and probably had a better chance of getting over it.

"So it's true, huh?" Vic spoke up bitterly after a quiet period. His eyes were hatefully glaring into mine.

All I could muster up to offer in response was a confused look. That's how shocked I was. What was he talking about?

"You were fucking Dahvie all along," he accused. "Those weren't just rumours, they were the truth, right?"

My mouth felt dry. How was I supposed to respond to that without either breaking his heart or ruining my life completely? Not that there was very much of it left to even save.

I had no idea what to say, my thoughts completely conflicted. My chest had tightened to the point where I found it hard to breathe.

"It's true, isn't it?" Vic carried on, full of hostility seeing as I would not answer his previous question. "Who knows - maybe you were fucking him even after we got together?"

"Vic, shut the fuck up," Lynn interjected defensively, "You know he's not like that."

"Something I also thought I knew was that he would not let down his fans and cry over stupid things he won't tell anyone about, but I was quite obviously proved wrong seeing as he's exactly like that!"

Ouch. Now that one must have hurt more than the black eye Dahvie gave me.

I found it difficult to believe that Vic would ever say something like that, but apparently there was a completely new side to him which I was not aware of. Could I really blame him though? He felt lied to, used and cheated. I deserved whatever he threw at me.

It was still so upsetting to hear that from Vic. Through these last few weeks, I viewed him as someone great. He was my lighthouse shining bright on a sea of darkness. Vic was my rock and I could always rely on him. He held my hand through so many tough times, but apparently I was only an inconvenience which dragged him down.

He was the only thing keeping me alive, yet I found a way to even make him hate me.

"I thought I could trust you!" Vic yelled, making me flinch back and drop my head to look down. Why was this happening to me? I was so emotionally distraught I did not think I could stand another minute of his shouting. I guessed Lynn and the Doctor just stood back and let it happen for now, knowing that Vic needed it and I deserved it.