Kiss And Tell [BoyXBoy]

.:19:.

With my head rested against the wall behind me and my eyes closed, I soaked in the music. The bass was making the floor shake. The drums vibrated my body. The guitars melodically harmonised.

The vocals made me want to cry.

Tomorrow was the last day of Warped Tour and I still had not built up the courage to go up on stage. It was probably quite cowardly of me, as I just sat backstage and listened to how much better my band sounded with Josh as their singer. His voice suited the songs better than mine did. He sounded nicer, he was more attractive, he got on with everyone. He was literally perfect and just so much better than me.

I had heard them play together a couple of times and each of them made me sad. Before, I was so concentrated on my appearance and social status that I did not pay that much attention to my voice. But, now that I did, I realised how many flaws were in it. My screams weren't that good; Josh's were better. My voice usually gave out halfway through the set as I became tired; Josh always sounded perfect. I had to get autotuned to hit high notes on recordings; Josh did not as his range was amazing.

I was undoubtedly jealous and felt...guilty. All of these thoughts brought me to one solid conclusion: I was restricting my band. They were all such amazing musicians with outstanding skills, whereas I was mediocre at best. It was like I was holding them back from achieving great things.

I raised my head and broke out of my trance upon hearing and feeling someone sit next to me. I did not open my eyes, assuming that it was Vic, but the clanking of metal against the ground had me intrigued.

My eyes opened up to reveal that someone I had only spoken to briefly a couple of times was sitting on the floor next to me. It was Andrew Tkaczyk, the drummer of The Ghost Inside. The metal noises? His prosthetic leg, which was stretched out in front of him.

I was confused as to why he would be here considering we barely knew each other.

"Hello," he greeted, outstretching his hand for me to shake, which I did lightly.

"Hi," I breathed, giving him a weak smile before leaning my head back again.

"Are you okay?" He mused. "You look sad."

Why would he care? He was basically a stranger to me. But, even with that, I felt the urge to just scream and tell him that nothing was okay. I wanted to let it out but at the same time I did not want to cause a scene.

"I'm fine," I replied quietly, my voice apparently unable to go any louder. I guess this was what depression did to you. I was not allowed to take my meds for another hour but I was thinking about cutting it short just to make this empty feeling go away.

There was a moment of pause between us, before Andrew spoke up, "You want to leave the band, don't you?"

I opened my eyes and lifted my head again. I gazed at him almost cautiously. Opening my mouth to argue with him, nothing came out.

"Yeah," I finally breathed, guiltily hanging my head. I felt awful for thinking that, but it was the truth. The guys were my friends and to some it may have seemed selfish, but to me it was more of doing them a favour. They could go so much further if only they had a better singer. Like Josh.

"It's not a bad thing to consider it," Andrew explained, trying and failing to make me feel better, "you just have to make sure you're making the right decision."

"What would you know about it?" I snapped, way too rudely. I was just already feeling like shit and having someone randomly approach me to try and give useless advice was only adding to my bad mood.

"You know, it's not that easy being a drummer when you're missing a leg."

He laughed. I didn't.