Kiss And Tell [BoyXBoy]

.:18:.

Everything was supposed to be okay from now on. I was supposed to go back on tour. I was supposed to not be scared anymore. I was supposed to be happy again.

So why was it that, even with Dahvie being in jail, I still could not help but cry myself to sleep at night?

I was still so miserable.

After what happened I legally had to see a psychologist, so I just booked a couple of appointments with a random local one. Yes, I was still in Pennsylvania.

The woman had asked a lot of questions, some which made me quite uncomfortable, but I answered them to the best of my abilities until she could finally diagnose me. Depression, paranoia and PTSD. Fucking great.

I had predicted most of those myself already, so it was not a huge surprise. I simply got some medication and the doctor sent me off to carry on with the rest of my life so that she could do the same with hers. As if that was going to happen.

I did not know what to do with myself. I knew I had to get out of here because wasting money on a stupid dodgy motel was not a good idea when I had a house or a tour bus I could be on instead. But I did not know where to go.

There was only a bit over a week left of Warped Tour so there was supposedly no reason for me going but, at the same time I wanted to at least make some fans happy by singing on the last few dates. The only problem was that I did not know if I even wanted to go back.

Sure, after the court date when all the information went out to the public, people were more understanding and the negative comments were pretty much gone. But I was not worried about that; what terrified me more was being judged. They would not look at me as Kellin Quinn the rock star. They would view me as Kellin Quinn the rape victim.

Whether I was going to sing or not, I decided to join everyone back on the tour. I was not ready to go back home yet and I still wanted to see Vic and Lynn before we went our separate ways. So, before I knew it, I was on a flight to Denver just to meet Vic at the airport.

He greeted me with a kiss and a huge hug, which unfortunately earned us some dirty looks. But that was not the only reason why people were staring: they recognised me. I took Vic's hand in mine, while he kindly carried my suitcase in the other, and got out of there as quickly as I could.

It felt so refreshing to be able to hold his hand. It had only been less than two weeks since we'd seen each other, but that felt like way too long. I was in a quiet mood, which Vic pointed out without knowing that I was now always in a quiet mood. I guess he expected things to change after Dahvie was locked away.

They didn't.

We first took a taxi to get us as close to the festival as possible, but ended up getting off about a ten minute walk away, as the traffic was horrific. As I was not very keen on doing so, Vic filled the silence as we walked towards the festival grounds.

"Josh has been doing a great job filling in, but he's obviously nowhere as good as you. The fans have been mostly okay with him, but there was an incident where some motherfucker threw a flare onto the stage, obviously aiming for him. Josh dodged it though and he's okay, so everything's fine. Hmm...other than that nothing interesting has really- Wait, actually, we went through Andy Black's hometown so he came along and played a set on the main stage. He was really good, shame you didn't see him."

"It's okay, I heard he'll be playing at the APMAs. Maybe I'll catch him there," I mumbled mindlessly.

I listened to more of Vic's rambling, but mostly zoned out and only gave simple responses like, "That's cool". I could tell he wanted to talk about the whole situation with Dahvie, but it was also clear that he did not want to upset me.