It's Just Me

She won't

Stevie was the one to reach out to me this time. I was surprised to say the least. While I'm very happy about it, I'm also a little disappointed, because she invited me to dinner and mentioned Christian was going to be there too. She thinks we should get to know each other. Why? I mean, personally, I have no interest in getting to know him. Still, I can't decline, so I'm about to get in the shower, because I have to leave in about two hours or so. 

As I'm driving over to Stevie's, I can't help but think I should have called up some old friend, a female friend to be exact. There's a part of me who wants to make her jealous, a part of me who wants to show her that if I want to, I can have someone by my side as well. Although, on the other hand, it would be just that - a show, and I'm not very good when it comes to acting. 

I slowly drive the short distance, once the gates open and stop the car, turning the engine off, as I reach for a bottle of red wine I brought with me. Making my way to the door, I take deep breaths, telling myself I can do this and I won't cause a scene. She deserves to be happy and if it means she can be happy with someone else, then so be it. 

It takes a minute, before I see Stevie's face in the doorway, a subtle smile on her lips, as she opens the door wider and let's me in. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Yeah, me too." I nod and hand her the bottle. "I didn't want to come empty handed."

"Oh, thank you." Her smile grows bigger, as she says. "I'm not quite finished in the kitchen yet and Christian is still at work, so you can go say hi to Alex."

I kind of want to stay with you instead.

"Sure, is he in his room?"

"Where else?" Stevie rolls her eyes. "He's either at school, with his band or in his room."

She goes back into the kitchen, while I jog up the stairs, going to Alex's room. Stevie's bedroom is the first door on the right and I stop, because the door is open... I know I shouldn't, but I enter the room just barely and I clench my fists, seeing his things casually lying around. I take a moment, before knocking on Alex's door, when he doesn't answer, I risk to enter uninvited and I find him with his headphones on. 

When I finally catch his attention, he quickly takes them off. "Oh, hey, Dad."

"What are you listening to?"

"Just some really rough demos of a few of our songs."

"That's great. I'm happy for you."

"I might let you listen soon, too."

"I'd love to." I smile, then my eyes fixate on a picture frame from a long time ago. "I didn't know you had this." I pick it up and show it to him.

Shrugging his shoulders, Alex says. "It was one of the best days of my life." 

We were at Disneyland on Alex's fifth birthday. Stevie and I weren't together anymore at that point, but there was something about that day. We had a great time together, we laughed and joked around, and I wished it wouldn't never end. 

I'm brought back from my memory by Stevie's voice. I turn around and she's leaning against the doorway, looking at me. "I wanted to ask if you could open the wine?"

"Sure." I nod and follow after her. 

She has built up these walls and I find a hard time getting through to her lately, but to me this feels like a step in the right direction. She wanted me here, she talks to me and she wants my help. That's enough for me right now. I don't know what changed since about a week ago, but I'm not going to question it. 

Handing me the corkscrew, Stevie opens her mouth to say something, but we hear the front door open and I still. She notices, but says nothing. Then... "Steph?" You've got to be kidding me! She doesn't let anyone call her that. Well, apparently that's not the case anymore. 

"Here you are." He gives her a smile, before approaching and kissing her briefly. "Sorry, I had to stay in a little longer."

"It's fine." She waves it off, then turns to me. "Christine, this is Lindsey."

We shake hands and he adds. "I've surely heard a lot about you. Nice to finally meet you."

"You, too." I give a nod of my head.

We all go silent for a moment, before Stevie speaks up. "You can go sit down, I'll be right there."

So, I do that, leaving the two of them, before they join me a few minutes later, Alex entering the dining room as well. There's not much talk going on as we eat, Alex leaving us three, once he's finished his dinner. I reach for my glass of wine, taking a gulp rather than a sip. This is awkward.

"So, Lindsey..." Christian begins and I fight back a sigh. "What are you up to, since the tour's over?"

"Uh, well... not much, to be honest. Working on some songs, as usual."

"Is it for the new Fleetwood Mac album?"

I see Stevie almost flinch at the mention of it. Shaking my head, I reply. "No, I don't think so. They would fit my solo better." Since he asked me a question, I feel I should do the same. "I hear you're a doctor?"

"That's right. I met Stevie through my work." He glances at her, covering her hand with his, as they smile at each other. "I was covering for her doctor, while he was on vacation." I didn't ask about that.

"How long have you two been together, then?" I ask, my eyes shifting to Stevie momentarily. 

"Well, uh..." He struggles with his answer, using a napkin to wipe his mouth, clearly prolonging the pause. 

"I've known Christian for nearly a year." Stevie answers. "We're taking things slow." 

Are you? In my eyes, you two are acting as a couple and it's driving me crazy. Was Alex right, though? They're not officially together? But... he's got his things in the house.

I take the bottle of wine to refill mine and Stevie's glasses (Christian doesn't drink apparently), but it's nearly empty already. "Should have brought more." I attempt to joke, as Christian gets up. 

"I'll fetch another bottle. I think we've got a couple in the house." Are you fucking living here?

When he leaves, Stevie looks at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, this isn't very pleasant."

"No, it's not, but I'm still glad to be here." I tell her honestly and she smiles just a little. 

"I hope we can talk, not tonight though. Christian's going to be busy for a few days, he won't be here. Or I'll come to you."

I raise an eyebrow, talk about what? Has she changed her mind? God I hope so. "Of course, you just give me a call." 

Christian returns shortly, pouring the wine for us, as we become more relaxed, conversation coming to us a bit easier. Actually, by the end of the night, Stevie and I finished off three bottles of wine and I'm in no shape to be driving. I curse because of how careless I was, taking my phone out to call a car, but...

"I can drive you home." Christian offers. "It's no problem."

I don't know what posses me to agree to that, but I do and here I am, drunk, being taken home by Stevie's boyfriend. We don't talk, until the words come out of my mouth after a good portion of the road. 

"She will never love you. She'll have you around her, but she won't let you in. She won't be your happy ever after."

He doesn't say anything back. Maybe because he doesn't want to get into a fight or he thinks I'm not sober and I'm talking shit, just to spite him, but he doesn't say anything to me. 

"I believe we've arrived." I hear after some time and I get out of the car without a word.

~

I would like to write some chapters in Stevie's POV, too. I don't want this to be completely one sided. What do you guys say?