It's Just Me

If you let me

A week. Lindsey and I have officially been back together for a whole week. It's completely different this time. We haven't just jumped into it on the first day, no. Lindsey hasn't spent one night at my house nor have I at his. We both agreed to take things slow this time. Or slower at least. It's an adjustment. He knows that commitment is a scary word for me. I know that if he had moved in right away, things would have gone to hell. I need to get used to Lindsey being my... well, boyfriend, despite how stupid it sounds, in small dosage. He says, he understands and I hope he does, that he isn't just saying that. 

I'm finally able to devote myself to my upcoming tour. I have close to nothing that I have to worry about and I'm once again enjoying being with my band. I'm leaving shortly. In less than two weeks I have my first show in Phoenix and I'm so excited to go home. Lindsey will be coming with me, but I already told him that he is not allowed to tag along for the whole tour. This is my thing, I need to do this for me. I'm only letting him come to the opening show, because I know I'll be a nervous mess and he's always been wonderful at calming me down, right before I have to step out on a stage.

The rehearsal today is nearing the end, we only have a couple more songs left to go through. Wild Heart is what's awaiting me and I'm seriously regretting my decision to leave it for later. I've been having some problems for the past few days and Wild Heart is a hard song to sing. Taking a sip and then another one from a hot cup of tea, which Karen just brought to me, I prepare myself to kick off the song and I fail horribly once I do. 

"It's okay, we can call it a day." Waddy says.

"No." I shake my head, picking up my tea again. "I need to get through it once at least." The melody starts again and I know I should be singing by now. "Now, I forget the words?" I ask rhetorically, rolling my eyes. 

"You're tired, Steves. It's been a long day." Waddy pats me on the back, before putting his guitar down. "We still have time. If you want, we can do Wild Heart for the whole day tomorrow." He jokes and then laughs, when a look of dread crosses my face. "Or not!"

"Yeah, I don't think so." 

"Seriously, though, you should go home and relax. You can't overwork yourself. I know you want to be on top form for the fans, but you won't be if you don't rest."

I smile at him, nodding my head. "You're right. You're always right."

"I don't think I will ever hear you saying that to me." I hear from behind and turn away from Waddy, seeing Lindsey coming towards us. I can't help the smile on my face growing wider, when he approaches and pulls me into his arms. "Hey, baby."

"What are you doing here?" I ask, holding onto him for a moment longer. 

"Can't I visit you and see how you're doing?"

"You can, of course you can. But I'm not doing very well." I pout, hanging my head low, but Lindsey grips my chin gently, locking our eyes again. 

"What's wrong?" 

"I don't feel too well, I'm afraid I'm getting sick." 

"Oh? Well, then we should get you home and straight to bed." Pressing a kiss to my hair, he takes me by the hand. "Where's Karen? We should let her know that I'm taking you back."

"I'll tell her." Waddy says from behind us, putting one of his instruments into its case. "You two go."

"Thanks." I give him a small smile and a hug, as Lindsey shakes his hand and after saying goodbye to my girls, we leave the building, going to Lindsey's car, which is parked close by.

After we've been driving for a while, Lindsey glances briefly at me, asking. "Can I stay tonight? I want to take care of you." He adds quickly. 

"It's just a sore throat, Linds."

"Don't take it the wrong way, but you look tired, Steph. I'll run you a bath, with lots of bubbles and I'll sit with you and wash your hair, and I'll give you a massage, then I'll take you to bed and tuck you in, cuddling you until you fall asleep."

I'm not sure what to say, as I stare at his profile with my mouth slightly agape. He was saying all of that, making it sound like it's actually what he wants to do. "Yes, please." I then tell him, as he turns to me, a beautiful, loving smile on his gorgeous face. "I'm so in love with you right now."

"Only right now?" He raises an eyebrow, teasing me. "I could do that every night, you know, if you let me..." He just sort of puts it out there. I don't reply to that and he doesn't seem like he's expecting me to.

When we arrive at my house, we don't find Alex home, only a note attached to the fridge that he's at his best friend's. "Are you hungry?" I ask, opening the fridge.

"Uh, not really."

"Good, because there's nothing and I'm not cooking tonight."

"Then why did you ask?" Lindsey laughs lightly, while checking something on his phone. 

"That's my duty, isn't it?" I shrug, walking past him out of the kitchen. "I'm going to take my clothes off and by the time I'm done, I'm expecting that bath ready." I smirk, right before disappearing from his sight, as Lindsey stares at me wide eyed. 

Entering my bedroom, I sit down on the bed, lazily lifting my blouse over my head, as I toss it away. Lindsey comes in shortly and lingers in the doorway. I feel his intense gaze, but I don't say anything, as I continue undressing myself. I'm not exactly confident about my body anymore, but it's Lindsey. Never has he ever made me feel insecure. If anything, he would always tell me that I'm the most beautiful woman in his eyes, he would tell me that I'm perfect, that he loves me the way I am. 

"I don't hear the water running yet." I speak up, bringing him back to reality. 

"Oh, shit! I'm in trouble, aren't I?" He jokes, coming back to his senses, as he goes to the bathroom.

With my silk robe and nothing underneath it, I follow after him. We don't talk, we're comfortable with each other not to. He helps me get in the tub only minutes later, then sits down on the tiled floor, while I relax, lying with my eyes closed. I don't open them, when I hear him move. Soon, I feel his hands on me, as he starts massaging my shoulders and I moan, sinking a little deeper under the bubbles. 

"God, that feels so good. You're pretty damn amazing with your hands."

"I'd certainly hope so." I can actually hear him smiling. "I'm not too rough?"

"No, no. Keep doing what you're doing." I tell him, biting my lip as a moan escapes again.

"Jesus, Steph..."

"I'm sorry." 

"No, you're not."

"No, I'm not." I say and we both laugh, then silence falls upon us again. After a while, without thinking about it twice, I place my hand over his, stopping his movements, as I look over my shoulder at him, saying. "You can do this every night."