It's Just Me

I was thinking...

So, here it is. It's the opening night of the 24 Karat Gold tour and I couldn't be more excited! Of course, I'm a little nervous, okay, I'm really nervous, too. We came to Phoenix yesterday and like previously agreed, Lindsey came along with me. Alex also expressed his wish to be at the show. They'll be staying with me until tomorrow, when I have to get on a plane to Denver. 

Unfortunately, I had to wake up earlier than I would have liked to. That's definitely the part I don't enjoy about touring. Lindsey got up with me and we went to have breakfast, just the two of us, as he then returned to our hotel room and Karen took me to the venue. It's weird not having Lori by my side this time. Although, I'm happy to be reunited with Marilyn. It's been way too long!

After soundcheck, which went pretty well, I'm headed back to my dressing room. Opening the door, I smile, finding Lindsey there. He was supposed to arrive right before the concert. 

"I wasn't expecting you so soon." I say, pecking him on the lips.

"There wasn't much to do at the hotel." He shrugs, still holding me in his arms, his hands clasped on the small of my back. "Alex, however, is having a great time on his laptop." 

"Of course he is." I roll my eyes, freeing myself from Lindsey's embrace, because my makeup artist just knocked on the door.

We stay mostly silent, while I'm getting my makeup applied. I sit with my eyes closed right now, but I can feel Lindsey staring at me. "Stop. No, not you." I tell my makeup artist. "Him." Showing with my hand, I add. 

"What am I doing?" 

"You're staring at me and it's making me uncomfortable."

"I was just thinking." He says and before I can ask, continues. "You don't really need all of that on your face. You're such a natural beauty, Steph. I enjoy seeing you without a touch of anything."

"You do, but I'm not sure the fans would. After four decades, I do get tired of sitting through the same routine before every show, but hey, it's a small price to pay."

We're left alone soon enough and I'm glad, because I have something to tell Lindsey and I don't need anyone else around.

"I was thinking, too, you know..." I begin, joining him on the couch. "My tour ends December 18th and there's still a week until Christmas. Do you think it's enough time to plan ourselves a wedding?"

At first, Lindsey was on his phone, but he drops it quickly, all his attention on me. "You're joking, right?"

"Why? I'm not, I'm serious. It's a family holiday and the closest dearest people to us will be coming to celebrate it and those people are the only ones I would want to have at our wedding."

"But don't you want a big beautiful wedding? I know you've dreamed about it." Lindsey asks, his hand at the back of my neck as he gently squeezes there every few seconds and I'm about to melt under his touch. "I don't want you to change your mind, because you said, we'd get married once your tour is finished. We don't have to rush like that. I'll wait, baby. It's enough you've said yes."

"Well, it's true, I have dreamed about it, when I was sixteen, Linds. I'm not marrying the world, I'm not marrying the endless list of people I've met during my career. I'm marrying you. As far as I'm concerned, you and I could be the only two people at the ceremony. I think it's silly to spend a lot of time and money, planning this elaborate wedding at our age, have hundreds of guests and invite a bunch of photographers to capture every single moment of the day, so it ends up on the internet for everyone to see. It's our day, it's such an intimate thing between two people and I want it to be like that - between you and me."

Taking a deep breath, Lindsey reaches for my hands, as he then looks into my eyes intently. "Steph, do you understand completely what you're suggesting? Because, what you've just described is perfect and I wouldn't want to have it any other way. You say your final word now and you can't change it."

Smiling, I nod my head. "Of course, I understand what I'm saying, Lindsey. And I mean it. Just imagine how beautiful it's going to be, with all the Christmas decorations up! Our families are coming anyway, we only need to find ourselves someone to marry us."

"You could do it."

"Well, I could." I laugh lightly. "But I don't think I'm going to."

A beautiful smile crosses his lips, as he brings up my hand to his lips. "I can't believe this. I don't think I will, until I put that ring on your finger."

"You better believe it, because you are not getting rid of me now." I joke, smirking at him, but he just shakes his head.

"I wouldn't dream of it, baby. The love I have for you... to be honest, I think it's unhealthy most of the time, you make me lose my mind, but it's the most amazing feeling. Just... seeing your gorgeous face every morning when I wake up, being able to kiss you, to hold you whenever I want, to tell you how breathtakingly beautiful you are or how much I love you, just because I want to. You are my life, Stephanie, you are. I would be so lost without you."

"You don't have to keep thinking about that." I tell him, leaning in for a kiss. "And I love you, too, but you need to shut up now, because I'm this close to tears. I'll need my makeup reapplied!" 

"Oh, I'm sorry. We wouldn't want you to go through that again, now would we?" Lindsey teases and I pinch him, chuckling. "Real mature."

"Well, of course!" I laugh, standing up on my feet. "I need to get dressed for the show."

"I'm staying." Lindsey says, before I can tell him otherwise. "I know you were going to ask me to leave."

"What if I wasn't? What if I'm perfectly comfortable and confident around my very soon husband to be?" I raise an eyebrow, as he slides his arms around my waist again. 

"Well, seeing is believing, I think that's what they say."

"Oh you..." I give him a look and he shrugs his shoulders. My lips then curl into a smile, as I bring my hands up to touch his face. "We're getting married in two months."

"Crazy, I know! Stephanie Buckingham sounds pretty nice."

"Mhm, I think it does." I nod and surprise crosses his face. "I don't want to just wear your ring, Linds. I want the full package!" I say with a laugh and he joins in.

"Well, now I really can't wait for Christmas."

"Me either, baby." We then share a kiss, before I force myself to change into my stage outfit at last.