Josh and I had been dating now for about 3 months. He's just the greatest. At first I only agreed to date him because I wanted to extinguish my feelings for Lucas. But now I'm completely in love with Josh. Or at least I thought.
Last Friday changed my life completely. Josh invited me to another one of his college parties. I was now 16 and him 19. I fit in with his crowd very well, probably because we were drunk most of the time.
Josh lets me drink but he's always careful. I haven't been hanging around Riley as much these past 3 months. Maybe that's why I've made the decision to drink? I don't know. Anyways last Friday I felt more drunk than ever. Almost like I was drugged or something because one second I was cuddling with Joshua and the next he was gone, as was everybody else. There has only one person left in the cold and dark dorm room.
I believe his name was Jack, he's 23 I think. At first I wasn't afraid, after all he was one of Josh's friends.
(Flashback)
"Hey, where's Josh?" I ask groggily, the effects of my 4th drink hitting me like a hurricane.
The man slowly walked closer and I started to get anxious.
"You're extremely hot tonight." He says eyeing my attire. I was wearing a tight black sequin dress. I always felt kind of insecure in it but Josh likes the skimpy things. And you know what they say 'dress to impress.'
"Yeah okay...I'm just going to leave now." I say hesitantly; feeling uncomfortable. He sat down onto the bed next to me and put his large hand on my thigh. I slapped his hand and stood up to leave.
"Josh will kill yo-" I started but he grabbed my hair and pulled my head harshly down onto the bed again. He hovered on top of me and slapped my cheek. I started to tear up from the stinging from my spinning head. His body pressed onto mine and I could hardly breathe.
"Shut up bitch. Do what I say or it will hurt even more." He spits in my face as he rips off my dress. The $70 dress tore down the seam. He grabbed my tender breasts and I screamed out. He put so much pressure on them I know there will be bruises left. He then unzips his jeans and enters me. There's was no lubricant so it hurt so much more than a first time ever should.
I screamed but he shut my mouth with his nasty hand. I was now in hysterics from the pain and this situation in general. His grunts became louder as he pumped into me. It hurt so bad and I had no time to get used to him. When he finished I was relieved. Until he flipped me over. I heard the sound of a knife and then a horrible pain from my inner thighs. Warm blood pooled from my sex as well as my thighs. I screamed and cried but he didn't stop. He continued to push the blade in deeper.
At one point I passed out from mixture of pain, blood loss, and alcohol. I had no idea what else he did to me after that.
When I woke up the sun was shining and Josh was still gone. At first I thought it was a dream or rather nightmare. But then I moved and my whole body throbbed from pain. I looked down and saw my naked and abused body covered in dry blood.
I wanted to cry but no tears came. I limped to the dresser and put on sweatpants and a NYU t-shirt. He would never get these back, because I never want to see Josh again. He left me and in his absence I was-raped. I choked on some vile and threw my messy hair in a pony tail and limped home.
Every move hurt, whether from my head, thighs, or more intimate places. I walked on the cold damp sidewalk of New York City. I wanted to run to Riley and cry into her arms. I wanted Lucas to take me back and mend my wounds.
But I knew I couldn't do that. That would be selfish. This world is Riley's and I can't burden her with my problems. Her innocence would be tormented and she would never see the world the same again.
