Goldenfeather: Hey everycat! Welcome back to Ask or Dare the WarriorCats!
Berrynose: Don't touch my nose ever again!
Goldenfeather: Well, today's dare is from CloverpawWarriorCats, who said I dare Tigerheart to tell Dovewing he never loved her then slap her with a fly swatter and then stick her into a fox trap with melting hot metal! So off we go to ShadowClan to destroy this happy relationship!
*cackles evilly, then gags and coughs up a hairball*
Goldenfeather: Just ignore that. Wait a minute, Dovewing can hear everything, we'll need to do something to stop that so she doesn't find out. *whispers to Firestar*
Firestar: Clan meeting! The Tribe of Rushing Water is being whiny again, we need to traumatize more young cats now. Dovewing, why don't you go...
Dovewing: Last time it overwhelmed my senses so much I lost them for awhile and almost went crazy and got traumatized for life and...
Firestar: ....or get banished for being unloyal.
Dovewing: Fine.
*a week later*
Dovewing: I'm back and I can't hear ANYTHING! I can't even check up on my boyfriend ...
Bumblestripe: I'm right here
Dovewing: I'm not talking about you
Goldenfeather: Now that that's taken care of, off to ShadowClan! Hey Blackstar!
Blackstar: Go away
Goldenfeather: Awww nice to see you too! I need Tigerstar 2.0 please
Tigerheart: wut
Goldenfeather: There you are! Now let me introduce you to something twolegs call BLACKMAIL
Tigerheart: uh-oh
Goldenfeather: *tells him dare* or she will hear it from me... In front of the whole of both clans! *hands fox trap, metal, and flyswatter*
Tigerheart: whyyyyy
*they both magically teleport to ThunderClan*
Tigerheart: Dovewing, come with me a second.
Dovewing: Why are you carrying all that stuff?
Tigerheart: Uh... It's magical StarClan stuff to restore hearing
Dovewing: What did you say? *cups hand to ear*
Tigerheart: Oh great she really needs it *grabs her and pulls her in woods*
Dovewing: It's rather big for an earring. Oh, did you say HEARING? I'm in.
Tigerheart: *takes a deep breath* Dovewing I-
*sees Goldenfeather eating popcorn*
Goldenfeather: *crunch CRUUUNCH* Wait why are you looking at me? Continue.
Tigerheart: Dovewing, I've never loved you. I've hated you the moment we've met. I've only hung out with you for the rares.
*slaps in face with flyswatter*
Dovewing: I don't see how that's a herring, isn't that a type of fish?
Tigerheart: *snaps fox trap around paw*
Dovewing: Ow. Um Tigerheart? That's not my ear. Oh, and can you repeat what you said before? I couldn't hear.
Tigerheart: *pours hot metal while crying* ive never loved you
Dovewing: what was that?
Tigerheart: I've. Never. Loved. You!
Dovewing: Eh?
Tigerheart: IVE NEVER LOVED YOU DOVEWING. EVER.
*looks up to see the whole of ThunderClan and ShadowClan surrounding them*
Dovewing: Hey it worked! I can hear! Just not see very well. It's all silvery.
Blackstar: Tigerheart, do you care to explain yourself?
Squirrelflight: This will be fun
Tigerheart: *points at Goldenfeather*
Goldenfeather: *rather nervously* Well guys, best end it here, see you next time on Ask or Dare the WarriorCats! If I don't get destroyed by these guys that is *runs*
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Ask the Clans
RandomAsk or dare any Clan cats in any books, alive or dead, anything at all, and they will answer (with help from Goldenfeather)