How I See You

chapter 13 - Will now.

Will now.

I go to the cinema with Tai, Jordon, Avril and Cherice on Saturday. Avril continuously speaks to me about annoying, stupid things and giggles all the time. We watch a horror film – it has parts in it that make you jump ten metres, and in one part Tai swears considerably loudly when something appears out of a wall, making some guy behind us kick his chair and everyone to look around at us. Then I look to my other side half way through the film to see Jordon kissing Cherice.

The cinema is awful really when I’m thinking about Alyssa.

Thank God I haven’t seen her – I would probably just grab her and kiss her and not be able to do anything to control myself. She would probably scream and accuse me of assault and everything would go awfully wrong.

I get home at around three and just go up to my room and lie down. No one else is home – my dad’s working, and my mum and sister are probably out shopping. It’s better that way – they always question me about what I do when I go out.

My phone buzzes suddenly and Tai’s name flashes up. I grope for it and then press answer, putting it to my ear.

“A-huh?”
“Hey, man,” he says. He sounds strangely relaxed and quiet.

I sit up. “Uh . . . You OK?”
“Yeah, yeah,” comes the reply. “I was just . . . wondering . . . about the whole Alyssa thing.”

I frown. “OK . . .”

He pauses. “Do you like her?”
“Why is this so important to you?” I ask exasperatedly.

He laughs. “I dunno. Maybe I just wanna see a happy ending for once.”

I stare into space. “Tai. Are you feeling OK?”
“Yeah . . .”
I need to get rid of him.

“OK, dad!” I yell. “Sorry, gotta go. My dad’s calling me.”
“Oh.” He sounds . . . disappointed. The world has gone mad. Tai never talks about girl feelings and everything. “Right. Bye.”

I switch off the phone then and then stand up and walk out into the garden. I start shooting a basketball in the net on the garage randomly. My chest, heart, whatever it is, is actually freezing cold even thought the sun is shining brightly, and I feel really depressed. I want to just go back to that day when I kissed her and not kiss her. None of this would have happened.

I’m now chucking the ball at the wall and then catching it. If I hadn’t have kissed her, I’d be hanging out with her normally right now. There’d be no awkwardness or complicated discussions or anything like that . . .

I almost jump out of my skin when I hear a soft banging , creaking, banging. I turn around, my heart beating fast.

Then my heart stops pounding and cold rushes through me. Alyssa is stood there, in front of the hole in the fence, in a white skirt and black vest top, her eyes wide and staring right at me.

She looks terrified.

I turn away from her and start bouncing the basketball.

“Will?” Her voice is timid.

I can’t turn around. I’ll lose my mind.

“Hmm.”

I stand there, with my back to her, staring at the wall.

“I just . . .” her voice trails off. “I wanted to say . . . I’m sorry, Will . . .”

I sigh painfully and run a hand through my hair. “Alyssa, you’re killing me here.”
She doesn’t answer straight away.