How I See You

Chapter 14 - It's Alyssa.

It’s Alyssa.

I push back my duvet and stand up. I’m sure my parents are asleep. They’re quite heavy sleepers, so is my brother, but still I feel really nervous and my heart is beating madly.

I pull a hoodie over my pyjama top and push my feet into some boots, trying to make my footsteps silent. I’m suddenly aware of how much my clothes rustle as I walk out of my room and down the stairs. I can’t put the light on, but it’s really dark and all I can see is blackness in front of me. I go slowly, the darkness hurting my eyes.

Once I get down to the kitchen, I silently take the key off the hook next to the door, and unlock the door slowly.

My heart is beating in my ears and mouth, telling me this is wrong. I should be upstairs asleep and I should definitely have not kissed Will Palmer today. But, God . . . I couldn’t help myself. I don’t know what made me grab the front of his t-shirt, and then suddenly we were kissing like the world was going to end or something.

I sigh heavily and look out into the dark garden. Then I pull my hood up and push open the door, then step out.

The air bites my face and a slight night breeze rushes past me softly, sending chills up my spine. I feel so nervous. But he wouldn’t hurt me. The guy saved me from Avril and we used to be best friends . . . right?

I walk quickly towards the fence and push the loose plank of wood to the side, sliding through the gap. I walk over to the pond, and sit down on the grass.

He isn’t here . . .

I look around, biting my lip.

I bet this is some joke. He doesn’t like me . . . he just wants to kiss me and make a fool out of me. He’s probably lying in bed right now, thinking how stupid I am.

I stand up, and that’s when I hear a rustling of leaves. I look around wildly, my heart beating fast.

“Hey.”

Will appears, dressed in a dark hoodie and jeans. He comes to stand opposite me, and I just stare into his beautiful brown eyes as he smiles down at me.
“I thought you weren’t going to come,” I murmur.

He frowns. “Of course I was. Do you not trust me?”

I examine his face for a few moments, then say, “Of course I trust you.”

He lays back, his hands behind his head, and grins up at me.

His hair is messy yet perfect and his soft brown eyes reflect the moonlight so clearly.

I smile back timidly and he reaches out and grabs my hand, which is on the grass next to me.

He gently pulls me down to lie beside him.

We both stare up at the stars. I used to get scared when I looked up to high places, and I have no idea why. Even now, looking up at the dark blue velvet sky with diamonds scattered across it makes me want to squeeze my eyes shut for some bizarre reason.

“I could never see the stars at my old house,” I murmur.

He looks at me. “It must have been too bright.”

“Yeah. I was right in the middle of town.”

“I prefer it here.” He pauses. “I mean . . . I know it sounds weird, but I prefer to see the stars at night. It comforts me . . . it’s like showing me that everything’s clear because I can see the stars. It’s quieter out here, but it’s good cause there’s no pollution or noise . . .”

I smile at him. “I like it better here too.”

His eyes switch back to the sky. “It was a massive shock when I found out you were moving here. Out of all people!” He laughs.

I smile.

He looks back at me, and my heart beats faster. “It was a great surprise. I’m glad you’re here. I’ve been searching for so long for . . . well, my life hasn’t been going great. I tried so hard to calm everything down and stop hanging out with the wrong people and doing the wrong things . . . but every time I did something it lead me back to the bad side. Everything I did was always bad.”

I sigh. “Will, I’m not what you think I am. I’m not anything good, or amazing, or brilliant . . .”

“Well that’s how I see you.”

My heart stops. I know it sounds cheesy, everyone says that their heart stops in all those books and films and things, but it actually does stop.

He strokes the back of my hand. “I was so happy to find you again, Alyssa.”

I feel my cheeks burn. “So was I. But I’m not how you say you see me or anything. I’m a loser. I’ve never been classed as an interesting person and I never will be-”

“You’re interesting to me.”

I look away from him and look at a particularly bright star in the sky. There’s him. Then I see another bright star, shining next to his star. Avril. I look around and find me – a tiny, hardly sparkling dot right in the distance.

“What is so interesting about me?” I ask in a small voice.

Will sits up and looks down at me intently. I squirm slightly and sit up slowly, and he reaches out and brushes a strand of my hair back behind my ear, his thumb caressing my cheek. It sends shivers down my spine.

“I’ve never met anyone like you,” he tells me in a low voice. “You don’t just care about all the stereotypical aspects of life. You look at things in detail and talk about them in this really interesting, unique way. You’re so smart too. And . . . you listen. You care. You’re patient. And even though you’re shy, you can be tough and brave too. Alyssa . . . I don’t know how to say it any more.”
I find myself becoming lost in his eyes. I can feel him stroking my cheek and he’s really close now. I could count every single long eyelash framing his beautiful eyes if I wanted to, and I can see all the streaks and lines in his iris. I can feel his breath on my cheek, warm. And that alluring scent.

When he puts his lips on mine, stars explode underneath my closed eyelids and the temperature all around rises drastically. He dots tiny, soft kisses all around my mouth, exploring every corner of my mouth with his. My heart won’t stop thumping wildly. He has his fingers curled around my nape and his other hand on my waist.

Bravely, I kiss him back, my hands on his chest as he pulls me close against him, his warm arms around my waist. He nudges his tongue inside my mouth and I put my hand on his cheek.

Nothing else matters, except him.

Nothing in the world. Time has no meaning and there’s no cold or night or rain even though I can feel it half-consciously on my cheek.

We break apart at the same time after what could be hours. Through the rain, I see him smile at me, and I smile back, my chest rising and falling heavily.

Slowly, I lean forwards, my nose adjacent to his, and pause when our lips are a few centimetres apart, my hand in his hair, at the back of his neck.

Then I kiss him.

It’s an uncertain brush on the lips, but he hums and kisses me back softly.

When I pull away, I put my head on his chest and he holds me in his arms, rocking me as the rain pours down, its dripping echoing throughout the trees.