I Could Die For You (Editing In Progress)

77

 June 6th of 1992 was the last day of the Blood Sugar Sex Magik U.S. tour. It was also one of the hottest days of the California leg of the tour. It was supposed to get up to 86 degrees tonight, and I was on edge. After today, I would be going off to Europe with the Chilis. Today was also the day that I was going to talk to Anthony about how both of us had been treating each other. I wanted to fix us, because I did care about Anthony, a lot.

Soon enough, Pearl Jam took stage. They killed it, and the crowd was already sweating and rocking out harder than I've ever seen at a show. Nirvana took stage, and brutally murdered it. Tonight was their night, and I think they let everyone in the crowd know. Before the Peppers went on, I managed to get a glimpse of the crowd. There were so many fans there, moshing, screaming and yelling all for the Peppers. When they took stage, I thought I lost my hearing.

I felt awkward trying to dance backstage, and felt I needed to be in the crowd dancing with those punks. I snuck by security and managed to get a spot on the corner with a terrible view, but great dancing space. 10 songs into their set, I was drenched in sweat and nearly sick from the heat. Almost 17 songs later, they finished and walked off stage, probably near death.

I knew I had to get backstage again if I wanted to be going home with the right people. I must've waited 20 minutes until everyone had found their way out, and I got past security. When I got backstage, I saw Jeff and Stone right away. They were holding towels and laughing about something.

I walked over and smiled brightly.

"Hey Lilly, what's up dude?" Jeff asked.

"Nothing just looking for Anthony, you seen him?"

He paused, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure he left like 20, 25 minutes ago?"

"Oh. Alright, well thanks! I'll see you guys tomorrow."

I waved goodbye and ran outside to catch a cab. The ride home was short, and so was the trip to my room. I rested my hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath. I was going to talk to Anthony, and I was going to do my best to work everything out. With a deep breath, I turned the knob and pushed the door open.

Instead, I felt the urge to rush back outside, but for some reason the pain starting in my stomach wouldn't let me. I looked away from the bed, and stared at the window in the back, the clear night sky cloudy through my sudden impaired vision.

"Shit.." Anthony said breathless and throaty. A tear rolled down my face and I forced myself out into the hall. I picked up my pace and made it to the end, where the elevator waited shining, a beacon of escape. I squatted and with tears slowly escaping my eyes, I tried to put the pieces together. Was what I saw a nightmare I had yet to wake up from or the reality I was neglecting to see?

"Lilly?" Anthony's voice had recovered its breath, and snuck right into my head. Except, instead of the sweet honey, it was bitter acid in my brain.

I slowly stood up and turned around, wiping my cheek quickly. He looked at me with eyes full of shame, but no regret. He stood 15 feet away from me, with a pillow covering his crotch and a girl with red hair, my age, peeking out of the doorway.

I looked at my feet, a tear dropping on the black combat boots I was sporting. When I looked back up, my heart spoke for me. "So much for loving me." Before he could see me sob, I turned around and made my way as fast as I could to the elevator and pushed the lobby button. When they opened I rushed inside, and leaned up against the back wall, getting my last glimpse at Anthony. No doubt he saw my tears, no doubt he heard my heart breaking.

When they closed, I considered that the symbol of my adventure coming to an end. It was the world telling me that I was going to have to get the fuck back to Seattle. Unfortunately, it didn't mean that I wasn't going to cry. When I reached the lobby, I could barely keep in the cries that were desperate and loud. Thankfully, I didn't break down until I was in a cab.