I Could Die For You (Editing In Progress)

89

Anthony drove us back to his place, and I stayed quiet the entire ride. I had told Stone and Jeff where I was going before I left, and they seemed worried, but let me go. A part of me wanted them to say no and force me to return to the motel with them, but the other half was happy with their reaction. I wanted Anthony, but I also wanted to punch him in the dick.

Anthony pulled up in front of a grand house, much bigger than his small apartment years ago. I followed him inside, and up the stairs to his bedroom. Down the right hallway, on the left side was a door kept open. Inside, was a king sized bed with white sheets, wispy and soft looking. Directly across from where we were standing, was a balcony overlooking the ocean and beach across the street. The doors were open, letting in a cool night breeze.

Anthony opened a closet door to my right, disappeared inside, and returned with a t-shirt and some boxers. He walked over to me, and held them out. I took them shyly and watched him point to a bathroom to the left. I nodded, and softly padded over the plush ivory carpet and inside. I flicked on the light and shut the door, stripping down, redressing in the boxers and t-shirt. I wiped off my makeup and cleaned my face free of tears.

When I walked back into the bedroom, Anthony sat on the edge of the bed, watching me with an intense heat. I felt myself blush under his gaze, and took a clumsy step forward. He used his pointer finger to motion for me to walk to him. I did so, and he lifted me up and onto his lap. I was tiny compared to him and I fit easily there. He wrapped his arms around me, and settled them just at the bottom of my back.

He looked at me slowly, starting from my eyes, mouth, neck, chest, stomach and my pelvis. A small smile crossed his lips and he met my eyes. He took a piece of hair and twirled it around his finger. "You cut it."

I felt myself smile, but very modestly. "You grew yours even more." I used my fingers to comb through the soft, silky brown hair and noticed Anthony's skin covered itself in goose bumps because of it. He pulled me closer, so my genitals were resting directly above his, and my lips just inches from his. I felt myself arouse quite a bit, but I tried so hard to refuse myself such pleasure and excitement.

Anthony let out a sigh, "I've had lots of sex since you left me."

All arousing I felt disappeared in an instant. "I had no doubt, Mr. Kiedis. But, so have I."

He raised an eyebrow, and then it sunk back down. "I was going to say," he paused and licked his lips, "That none of my partners have struck me and pleased me like you did."

My arousal returned at the thought of releasing myself to him, letting him take and break every inch of my very soul. To feel his skin against mine, his lips pressed against mine, his hips thrusting against mine.. He looked at me expectantly, and feeling as though he stared into my soul, I blushed and tried to force such thoughts from my head.

"I see." I said simply.

"Have you found this result in your intimates too?"

I twiddled my thumbs in my lap, and gently rocked my hips against Anthony's in an attempt to adjust myself. It only aroused him.

"Yes."

Anthony searched my eyes, looking for anything that would tell him that I wanted him again, but I forced myself to not show anything of the sort.

"Did you.." He paused, and didn't finish.

"Miss you?" I suggested.

He nodded, suddenly becoming shy and bashful.

I thought for a while, and looked back at him. He met my gaze, and waited patiently for an answer.

"For the first five months, I thought of killing myself. I drank nearly gallons of alcohol each day, and wanted someone to end my misery. I did miss you, terribly. I wanted to feel your lips on mine and constantly felt your touch when you weren't there to touch me."

Anthony sniffled.

"Kaity cleaned me up, fed me so my bones didn't stick out anymore. She found me a job and led me on my way to recovery." I emphasized the quotation marks around recovery with my fingers. "I ended up in the party scenes on the weekend and found love with a lot of different men, but they didn't succeed my needs. I felt empty nearly all the time."

I stayed stoic this entire time. Anthony moved his hands to my hips, were he held me firmly.

"I'm so sorry Lilly, I never knew you would-"

"Don't pity me, Anthony." I said sternly, but soft at the same time. "I chose to let my sadness get the best of me." He sniffled again, and wiped his eyes.

When he looked at me again, his eyes were glossy and somewhat red.

"I missed you more than I thought I could ever miss someone."

I felt defensive, and somehow it seemed like I was being fed lies.

"And the woman who joined you in your bed thought so too?"

Anthony loosened his grip on me, suddenly his body heated up. "I should ask the same to then men in yours."

I saw his point and softened, feeling guilty.

"I'm sorry."

His posture slumped slightly, "No, you have no need to apologize. If anything, I should be."

I knew he was right. Anthony owned me a century of apologizing, but I said nothing.

He caressed the side of my cheek, and moved my face gently so I looked at him.

His eyes brimmed with tears, "I'm so fucking sorry."

I did forgive him. I knew from the look in his eyes that he was sorry, and I was sorry too. I wanted him again, and felt a rush of something in me.

I placed my hand on top of his. "It's okay."

He nodded and rested his head on my chest, his grip tight around my back. After a few minutes, he looked back up at me and slowly, we met in a kiss. It felt like we had cured a feud that had lasted for 3,000 years with that kiss, and unknowingly, I moved myself closer to Anthony's crotch and demanded more touching with my kisses.

Our lips fought passionately, and our tongues occasionally slipped in one another's mouth, but not often. (I remember telling Anthony one day that I thought tongues were weird.)

He moved his hand up to where my bra would be and rubbed the skin in a massaging motion. I let out a soft moan when his hand drifted and to my front and cupped my breast.

I pulled away, slightly breathless and disoriented. "Anthony you must promise me something."

He looked up at me with eyes full of excitement and lust. "Anything, goddess."

"Do not break my heart again, or I will kill you."

He looked at me, full of truth. "I swear."

I nodded and then slowly went back to kissing him.

Despite our behavior, we didn't have sex. We kissed and shared memories in the comfort of pillows and blankets, but I refused him inside me. Anthony finally nestled his head on my breasts and fell asleep while I played with his hair lovingly. I, on the other hand, could not sleep to save my life. I thought of the amazing time Anthony and I had and felt shameful. How could I let down my guard and let this man back into my life after he had ruined it so easily? However, the very thought of Anthony back in my heart made me giddy with happiness. I wanted him so badly every minute, and I wanted him to wake up again so I could enjoy his love-making more and more, until my very soul needed sleep. I thought of this for a few hours, abut eventually fell asleep from pure exhaustion.