I Could Die For You (Editing In Progress)

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Anthony's family hugged me one by one, each filling me with peaceful warmth- the warmth of family. I remember that warmth from when my mother was still living. Sure, my dad's hugs are still warm, but they aren't as colorful and bright as they were when my ma was around. Their darker, and I can feel his hidden sadness.

I sat down next to Anthony at the kitchen table, taking some eggs, bacon, pancakes and fruit on my plate along with a big mug full of coffee. For most of breakfast, we talked about little things: Anthony's wild childhood, current events, Dave Navorro, etc. I loved everyone already, and I loved listening to their happy voices.

"Lilly, I was wondering, would you like to go do some shopping with me? Some girl time?"

I swallowed my food, and smiled brightly.

"I'd love to!"

Peggy smiled at me. Her question was obviously something she'd wanted to do with one of Anthony's girlfriends, but I guess I was the one she thought would be nice to go with? Who knows, I was just happy to be able to bond with my future-mother-in-law.

We spent a little bit more at the table, nibbling the last of our meals, but finally Anthony excused himself and I from the table, claiming we were to go shower. I had no objection. I hated not showering after an airplane ride. I always felt sticky and clouded.

Anthony rushed us down the hall and into the bedroom where he shut and locked the bedroom door. His movements were so quick I thought for sure he was going to turn away and fuck me against the wall, but instead he galloped into the bathroom. I followed him in and saw him pulling his pants down by the toilet.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I have to take a shit! Why do you think I wanted to get away so much? Man, I've been holding this is as long as I could." He said squatting down on the seat.

I laughed. "Oh my fucking God."

He chuckled a little too, "What?!"

I shook my head and reached into the cabinet under the sink for a fresh towel. After that, I turned on the water and breathed in the clean smell, but instead caught something else.

"Jesus Christ, man! What the fuck did you eat?!" I said fanning my nose.

Anthony bellowed with laughter and patted his back with proudness.

I rushed over to where the light switch was and flipped on the fan. Luckily, Peggy was a smart woman and left some air freshener by the sink so I sprayed some of that too. Soon enough, the smell went away and I started to strip down for my shower. By this time, Anthony was finished pooping so he started to do the same.

Seeing Anthony naked and wet made me wet. I watched him wash his back with the bar of soap; each muscle flexed and his tattoos were blurred with soapy water. I groaned with agitation and put my face in my hands.

Anthony turned around and frowned at me.

"What's wrong?"

"I want you." I sighed.

He smiled and pulled me into his arms. I felt every inch of his body, and it was torture.

"I want you too. Tonight we'll take my mom out for dinner and tell her about our engagement and then tomorrow we'll take a late flight again, all right? I love my family and all, but I want to be inside you a lot too... I'm glad you told me you want me too, because I was beginning to think I was just going crazy. I need you so much."

Anthony and I spent a little bit longer in the shower, but eventually we had to get out. I dried myself off and dressed in some jeans and an old Sonics baseball t-shirt I had stuffed in my suitcase. I dried my short hair and clipped some of it back, and then snuck my feet into a pair of white converse sneakers.

Anthony handed me like 50 bucks and kissed my cheek, with only a towel wrapped around his waist, and wet hair sticking to his body.

"Have fun, sweetheart."

I smiled and walked out in the hall towards the front door. Peggy was already waiting, sitting on the first step of the staircase, trying to put on her shoe. She heard my feet shuffle against the floor and she looked over with happiness shining on her face.

"Hey chickie! Ready to go?"

I nodded happily and watched as Peggy grabbed her purse and opened the front door, hurrying out to a blue van parker in the driveway. I shut the door behind me and tried to keep pace with the woman-she was pretty quick on her feet.

By the time I got in the passenger's seat, she had already started the car and was looking for a good radio station. I smiled when I heard a track from Blood Sugar Sex Magik end, but tried to block out a pang of sadness when I thought about John. Now, is not the time to be sad.

Peggy drove us to the nearest mall, where she raced inside, leaving a very surprised Lilly a couple feet behind. When I caught up to her she laughed.

"Sorry I was so fast, I spent all of my laugh chasing after Anthony. The boy never seemed to stop running." Her smile radiated with motherly love, and it made me ache for a mother of my own.

Peggy linked her arm with mine and we leisurely walked around the mall, stopping in a soap and candle store and a small dress store so I could buy myself this navy blue sundress I liked. We walked a little further when Peggy finally decided to bring up the topic I was expecting her to talk about sooner or later.

"So, I'm sure you've heard about Anthony's other girlfriends, then?"

I laughed, remembering Jennifer Bruce especially, and all the wild stories Anthony told me.

"Yes, some I wished I hadn't but..."

Peggy chuckled. "Yeah... he's definitely found some very... vibrant ones to say the least. They're all wonderful women in their own way, but.. well, you know. Although, it seems like my little devil has caught one that is healthy and beautiful. I guess what I'm trying to say here is, I'm happy you and Anthony found each other. I know he's a handful, and I'm sure he's broken your heart a few times-even though he doesn't try to-but he means well."

I couldn't help but smile.

"Anthony is a lot for me to handle, but there's no doubt I've really taken a keen attachment for him. My mother died when I was young, so I never had her guidance when it came to men, but this time, with Anthony, I was just struck with luck. I went through a lot of assholes to get here, but it was worth it."

Peggy wrapped her arm around me, sensing I was upset.

"I'm sorry to hear that.. I'm sure your mother would be proud to see where you are now. Anthony told me you're a pretty sweet record producer, huh? I think that's really impressive, and as long as you want to be in this family, you can call me and count on me as your mom. Any girl that Anthony loves is probably someone I'll end up loving too."