I Could Die For You (Editing In Progress)

99

I ordered a tuna sandwich. after the rest of the guys had put in their orders. I sat across from Dave, who seemed to stare into my soul, examining my past with such odd and excited pleasure. As much as I hated to admit it, because of Anthony, I was attracted to Dave. He held some kind of dominance, and I felt under his command, even though we hadn't spoke much. It was very difficult for me to understand. I was Anthony's and Anthony's mine. We had a bond that was beyond chemical and spiritual, much like how I felt with John. It was just there, almost like it had been for years and years. But Dave... he was like a new threat.

Anthony sat beside me, with his hand firmly entangled with mine, his thumb tracing the skin. His touch kept me warm, and I felt an enormous amount of pure love whenever he was around. I just couldn't believe that after what terrible shit I had been through because of Anthony's absence that another man could make feel so... compelled.

Dinner dragged on with subtle and quite boring conversations. I drew on the placemat with crayons along with Princess Clara, as I had started calling her. We drew a whole field of horses when she had finally exhausted herself, climbed into Flea's lap and proceeded to rest her head on his chest and fall asleep. I was envious of her little advantage there... I wanted so badly to climb into Anthony's lap and sleep. What a wonderful rest that would be, surely...

Dave caught my glance once more, and I felt myself heat under his gaze.

"So, Miss Kinks, how did you and this... hunk, if you will, of a man meet, may I ask?"

Anthony's head quickly turned in my direction. His eyes threatened to attack Dave, but only at my command. I had to admit, Anthony had become so loyal to me. I would say like a lost puppy, but Anthony was so much more fierce and his presence so much more powerful. He was like a ruthless killer, who committed at my word.

If it were any other relationship, I'm sure either one of the partners would've jumped in with their sappy stories, but mine and Anthony's was so much more "dangerous" to talk about. Or I guess, uncomfortable, would be a better word.

I cleared my throat and squeezed Anthony's hand to tell him I was okay with talking about it. See, Anthony was very kind in this way. He always tensed when we got onto the subject of the night in Seattle. I checked to make sure Princess Clara was still asleep and then looked straight into Dave's eyes.

He waited patiently, and then I explained the story. When I finished, he looked at Anthony, then me. Began to say something, but held his tongue and looked down at his half eaten pasta bowl.

************

I turned on the light in Anthony's bedroom and took off my shoes with a sigh. When my lover entered, he turned off the light and smiled at me, but very sleepily. I let out a quiet giggle.

"Oh, so tonight it would seem neither of us are sleeping, huh?"

He laughed, "No, it would seem you are wrong, goddess. I want nothing more than to hold you in my arms and to feel you sleep."

I smiled, "Hold me then."

"It would be my honor, and my pleasure."

Anthony took off his shirt, his shoes and his shorts- leaving him in his boxers. He strode over to where I was standing patiently and took off my pants and sweatshirt. He picked me up in his arms, carried me to the bed and placed me under the sheets, wrapped in his strong embrace.

I turned to face him, and traced his breast playfully. A sourness grew in my stomach when I thought of my-our- beloved John. I knew it wouldn't be good to withhold this information form Anthony, so with a deep breath and much courage, I looked into Anthony's eyes.

"I saw J-John today."

"You did...?" His face immediately darkened.

"Yes."

"Well..."

"I'm...." My voice trailed off, and I quietly began to sob.

Anthony pulled me in closer and kissed my head. "It's okay, Lilly. I'm here. You can tell me."

"I think you k-know." I said wiping my eyes.

Anthony looked like someone had ripped out his heart and shown him the hurt he was feeling, because it hit him so hard right then.

"I think so too." His eyes were rich with sadness.