I Could Die For You (Editing In Progress)

86

Anthony's POV

I walked from my kitchen with a glass of water pressed to my lips, and not a single article of clothing on my body. I slipped back into my bedroom, letting the light from the hall slip inside, shining down on the beautiful brunette asleep in my bed, completely naked with the simple gray sheet covering her. We had sex tonight, but I wouldn't say made love. 

I climbed in quietly beside her and set my glass down on the end table. Slowly, I pulled up the sheet to my hips and folded my arms behind my head as I stared up at the ceiling. I turned my head to look at the little girl sleeping in my bed, at a youthful 20 years old. She slept peacefully, and hadn't moved since she first closed her eyes.
I turned my head back to it's original position and took a deep sigh. It had been almost a year since Lilly left me. Since I ruined our love, since I hurt her. I shut my eyes tightly and thought back to the night she walked in on me mounting some girl. Shame throbbed in my stomach and I felt like slapping myself for doing such a thing. Indeed, I had said I loved her too early, because I was still acting like a boy, and my thirst for women and their euphoria had not been quenched.
I wish, when I called her, she would've answered me. The only words she spoke were "hello", but it was enough to jolt my heart.
I was having sex with a lot of women, that was no lie. But it didn't feel the same as before. It felt boring half the time. Tonight though-and this a rare occasion!-was quite enjoyable. I did find excuses for myself when I thought of how I betrayed Lilly. For instance, how could I stay loyal to one woman when there were so many beautiful females that needed love, love that I could offer. This particular excuse came up often, but I shoved it away just as quickly as it appeared. I made a promise to love Lilly and Lilly only when I asked to "court her".
Not only had Lilly left me, but so did John. I hated him for it. How could he leave me like that? Leave our beautiful musical bond, our band.. It hurt me deeply, and I didn't understand why he chose to do so. Flea tells me that my sense of humor degraded him, but I don't see how. I loved John, and showed it in every chance I got.
All of this loss made me think about going back to my old habits. I often had thoughts and impulses to leave and get high. I feared that I would, and break my sobriety.
I let out a deep sigh, and soon the little brunette stirred in her sleep and crawled up against me. She rested her head on my chest with contentness after the amazing sex I gave her. I found her cute, but the nagging part of my brain in the back throbbed. I found Lilly cuter.
In fact, I hadn't been sleeping much these past few weeks. Lilly wouldn't let me. I thought of her up until the late hours of the night, even when there was a girl in my bed to accompany me, like tonight.
I missed her. And I could only hope she missed me too.
As this sleeping princess, whose company I did enjoy, slept on me, I thought of Lilly. I thought of how much more I would enjoy her laying here on me instead.
Lilly was a fairy, who had a power over me, and if asked I would tell you she was my queen. It was true that almost every night of these months, of this year, I had a girl to lie with, but none of them were Lilly. How could I feel content until she was the one naked in my bed?