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I sat down at the table once again with Anthony, Flea, Chad and Dave, only this time Anthony's dad had joined us. I only spoke to him for a few minutes before we, and the rest of the guests, were called back into the dining room for dessert. It was very clear to tell that there was tension between Blackie and Anthony as we ate cake and assorted other treats.

The night strolled on, Anthony talking very little, and my only companions Chad and Flea. Dave talked to me some, but probably still felt intimated because of the fight he and Anthony got into. Oh, boys. All throughout the dessert time I watched Eddie's table, longing to be with them, laughing and telling stories of our time recording together rather than being stuck at this table, afraid to cough and cause Anthony to snap on his father.

I knew it was coming. I knew Anthony well enough to know when he was really upset and I've seen him explode only once, and that was a mild explosion with Dave. This one would brew up blood if I didn't try to get Anthony home soon enough. How quickly this night had turn to shit...

Slowly and slowly the night hours grew, and when it was midnight, everyone wanted to go home. Guests started disappearing and I lost count of the goodbye hugs I gave to people whose names I couldn't remember.

When 4/5TH of Pearl Jam came to say goodbye, I felt disheartened. I'm not sure towards what, but a huge piece of m confidence shattered when I watched them walk outside, leaving me with Anthony and his dad, standing in a threesome of tension. Oh God.

"All right, ready to go then?" I smiled anxiously to Anthony.

"Yeah." He said simply and grumpily.

Strength, Lilly. Strength.

I walked ahead of the two of them, grabbing my coat and then darting out to the car. I sat in the passenger's seat and listened as Anthony and Blackie quarreled just beside the door to the hall thinking I wouldn't hear. But boy, did I.

Anthony screamed at his father for leaving a bad impression on me, showing up late like he always did, apparently. It went on for several minutes and then finally Anthony joined me in the car, slamming his door shut.

He broke down in sobs as soon as he turned the key in.

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