Arizona Dreaming

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June 11, 1988, Saturday, 11:43 pm

Makati, Philippines (my plan failed)

"I'm so relieved that Perez.....er.....Julia showed up.

The cab driver who was supposed to take me to the US embassy, made me feel uncomfortable so I demanded that he dropped me off or else I was going to jump out of the cab.

Mom used to tell me to follow my instincts and I did.

The way the pervy guy would check me out in the mirror told me he was up to no good.

When I was finally out of the cab, instead of feeling safe, I was even more scared because there were suspicious people staring at me.

I held on to my backpack for dear life.

Not that there was something valuable in there.

If only they knew that I don't have money.

I felt that I was an easy target because of how I look.

I was the odd person out.

Could I make it any more obvious with my pale skin, blonde hair and blue eyes?

That time, I wished I spoke the Tagalog.

I thought it would give me a fighting chance but who am I kidding?

They could easily attack me and no one will know what happened.

But knowing what they were saying already gave me an advantage.

A guy who had been staring at me told this other guy that I look very pretty.

He didn't say it in a complimentary way.

So when I heard Per.....Julia called my name, I've never been so glad to see a familiar face.

I felt like the old Arizona who needed someone to help her.

That was the scariest part for me.

Knowing that the new Arizona is not as powerful as she thinks.

I have no street smarts.

What I have was a disguise, not real courage.

I freaked out which was understandable.

It was my fault that I left my comfort zone.

Without money and a clear sense of where I was going, I was vulnerable.

Julia and her dad were good people.

After what happened between us, I didn't expect her to come to my rescue.

If she was mad at me for what I did to Rose, she didn't even mention it.

From the get-go, I could see that she was going to help me.

There was no hesitation on her part.

She knew I was not in the right place.

I saw her staring at my bag.

When she asked me if I was trying to run away, it made me wonder how she knew.

Was she that observant?

Or was it because I looked like a deer caught in the headlights?

Whatever it was, I was happy she was there for me.