Arizona Dreaming

Arizona Moves

                 

"For where all love is, the speaking is unnecessary."-Diana Gabaldon, Outlander

***

Love.

That's all I wanted.

I had it when my mother was still alive.

When she passed on, my little heart doesn't have enough space to handle the fear and uncertainty of her passing.

Seeing how life went on without her, how Dad found joy in Regina, made me feel isolated.

I rebelled to get attention.

I pushed his buttons till he lost it and sent me to live with my grandparents.

***

Then I met Julia.

She whom I thought was boring, ordinary.

Straitlaced.

She surprised me in a lot of ways.

Julia didn't leave.

She followed me around, talked to me and offered to join the Warriors.

She stayed when I was pushing everyone away.

Her quiet ways won me over.

Now, she's asking me what more she can do to prove her love.

I didn't say anything.

Instead, I cupped her face in my hands and kissed her hard.

I don't need her to prove anything.

It's me who should give her the assurance that I won't let my jealousy or fear drive me crazy.

Julia returned the kiss till we were both breathless.

"Turn off the lights," I whispered when I pulled away.

She obliged till the only light left in the room was the dim glow of the moonlight on the open window.

When she came back to the bed, I grabbed her by the shirt.

When our lips touched, everything felt warm.

My skin crawled from the desire that's been building up since we got here.

Rose wasn't to blame for how Julia and I ended in the same room.

Our names were picked and that was it.

The prospect excited me because I never had any alone time with my girlfriend.

We shared chaste kisses and that was it.

There are moments when I wanted to do more but we didn't have the opportunity.

The back of the building was not a safe place.

The locker room was almost always packed with people.

I wanted my first time to be unhurried.

The question now is, does she want the same thing too?

***

It was answered when her hand reached for the long light pink shirt I wore to bed.

She pulled it over my head till I was left with my underwear.

Julia removed her blue cotton shirt and she was left with her pajama bottoms.

She kissed me again.

***