When the ocean meets fire

~~~~~~~~~~~~Confusion~~~~~~~~~~~~

Up was confused. He hadn’t been making progress at all; in fact he thought that he was going downhill, but Chloe seemed to think that he was doing an excellent job. Every day she seemed to congratulate him in more exaggerated ways than before, and even at the slightest things. For example, when Up had said to her,

“I’m done for the day.” She’d thrown her arms around him and said,

“Oh, Up! I love how you’re making your own decisions!” He also didn’t like the fact that she called him Up and not Commander; Taz was one of the only people who just called him Up, and Chloe could never be equal to her...oh crap.

Chloe had been getting closer and closer to him over the past six months: She hugged him every five minutes, she called him ‘babe’, she bought him lunch, she wore ridiculous clothing for training that he was sure the G.L.E.E wouldn’t allow, and he swore he’d seen her flutter her eyelashes at him a few times. Dead. God. Damn. It. He’d never thought of her that way, and he never planned to, but with the state he was in, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to push her away. No Up! You’ve got to be strong- at this time more than ever. If Taz finds out, then she’ll never speak to you again, even if you try to explain that you’re weak and alone and you really wanted her. So you have to push Chloe away. This is more important than being tough to fight. You need to be tough to l-

At that moment, Chloe burst through the doors of the gym and strutted past the weights and the sparring ring towards him. She winked at him before sitting down on the steps next to him. He shuddered but she didn’t notice. In fact, she looked like she was about to say something important- a rare occurrence for Chloe. He looked over at her cautiously, but she turned to him with the same plastic grin on her face as she always had when she was with him.

“Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to take a break from training today.” She said, over-sweetly.

“Uhh... why’s that?” he asked, trying to avoid her eyes.

“Because I thought you might like to talk about how you’re feeling right now!” she said, throwing her arm over his shoulder. Any trained member of the rehab clinic would’ve said it in a more serious tone (or not said it at all), and waited for an answer, but Chloe’s high-pitched giggly tone really didn’t fit what he was feeling.

Never the less, his mouth acted without consulting his brain first again, and he found himself saying,

“Uhh, okay.” Chloe’s grin got wider even though Up had thought that surely it couldn’t, and she stood up and took his hand, pulling him to stand with her. He waited for an opportunity to drop her hand but she kept a tight hold on it, even as she led him through the corridors. They passed Peter going past the mess-hall, and Up saw him look down at their hands and back to Chloe, a smirk on his face. Oh Dead-God no, Up thought as she led him to the offices owned in the rehab centre.

“Uh, Chloe? Where are we going?” he asked, feeling repulsed but sounding nervous.

“Oh, we’re just going to have a chat in...uh, my office.” Her office? Up was pretty sure that someone as seemingly unqualified as her wouldn’t have an office. That wasn’t really important though, and he let her lead him into an office anyway, and he cursed himself for not trying to check the name on the door.

“You can sit down anywhere you want.” She chortled as she dropped his hand finally, and went over to get something behind the wooden desk that was the main feature of the small room. He shrugged and sat down on the small grey sofa in the corner. For a minute, he thought that she was going to sit behind the desk and they were going to have a professional talk, but she came back from behind the desk and sat down next to him. No- right next to him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been closer than this to someone... oh yeah- about six months ago. He gulped and looked at what she’d gone behind the desk to get: a box of tissues. At this he looked at her sarcastically, and she put her hand on his shoulder.

“It’s okay to cry, Up! Don’t worry- I’m her for you.” She said the ‘I’m’ in such a way that Up thought she must’ve been implying that Taz wasn’t. Never the less, he questioned it, again meaning to speak with the emotion he felt, but not being able to:

“What do you mean, you’re here for me? I mean, I know... I know she’s gone, but she’ll come back for me- right?” He sounded pathetic. Chloe looked up at him sympathetically and blinked more times than it was necessary. She put her other hand on his knee and looked him straight in the eye.

“Up. You’ve gotta listen to me. I know you think that Taz is gonna come back for you,” he cringed at her name, “and by the way, I think it’s really sweet of you to think that. But the truth is, girls like Taz... well, their job is always gonna be more important than anything.” She nodded and blinked weirdly again. His mind filled with instant hatred for Chloe: how dare she try to say that Taz wasn’t going to come back for him? And of course she put her job first- that was what everybody was meant to do in the G.L.E.E! However his physical response wasn’t a patch on his true emotions.

“B-but of course sh-she would p-put her job f-first; sh-she’s a g-good r-ranger!” no, she was the best dead-god damn ranger in the history of the Galactic League. And was he crying? Ugh. Chloe shook her head as she handed him a tissue, again sickeningly sympathetically.

“Oh, Up. I don’t think you get what I’m trying to say here.” She sighed dramatically, “umm... how can I say this politely... Taz is someone who will make you think she cares about you, and then the next day, not care about you... or care about someone else.” She said in such a matter-of-fact tone that it took Up a while to register what she’d said, but when it did, he felt horrified. Surely Chloe was wrong- Taz would never go out with another ranger after all they’d been though...would she? He tried to shake the image of her with another man out of his head, but what Chloe had said was so thought-provoking.

“I-I don’t know what to say.” He looked down as he said it, trying to force the tears not to come.

“Hey,” Chloe whispered, tilting his chin up with her hand, “I’m here for you- whenever you want I’ll be there.” She still had her hand on his face, and Up could sense something else in her eyes as she stared intently into his. Come on, Up- be tough! You can’t let yourself be led into betraying Taz!

But she said Taz wasn’t coming back for him.

Chloe leant towards him and Up suddenly felt raw instinct take over. He pulled himself out of her arms and stood up, leaving her to almost fall sideways on the sofa. He looked down at her, and she had an expression which seemed to say, “why would he reject me?”

“I’m sorry, Chloe, but I don’t think I feel like talking right now.” It wasn’t as mean as he’d meant it to come out, but he exited the room as fast as he could after that.

Thank the long dead god he still had a bit of his old self left in him.

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“O-M-D-God!” Chloe said after Up shut the door behind him. Her mouth and eyes were still wide open with shock, but she remembered who was watching her. She stood up and looked up at the almost invisible CCTV camera in the corner.

“What do I do now?” she said in a whining tone, “ I mean, I was doing my world-class flirting with him, but he just stood up and walked out!”

“I know, Miss Grant, I can hear and see everything you do!” a low, mechanic-but-human voice came back.

“Oh yeah!” She was momentarily back to her usual bubbly self, “but what’s the plan now, Dr Space-Claw?”

“Well, I was planning to get you two on video tape, but now I guess a few more of your infamous rumours going around the ship will do the same.”

“Oh cool! I’ll talk to Peter!” she was back to her normal self again.

“You can go now.” Came the reply, and Chloe practically skipped out of the room.