When the ocean meets fire

~~~~~~~~~~~~Nerves~~~~~~~~~~~~

Up got back to his room the morning after spending the night in hospital, and found a note from Taz on his bedside table (they knew each other's pass codes for their rooms). Curiously, he picked the little piece of thin white paper up and read what she'd written:

Up. Meet me in my room. We need to talk I want to ask you something. Taz

Up was intrigued at the brief note. And that was exactly it- it was really brief. Now Taz wasn't a one for words, but he knew when someone was writing in a hurry. He'd planned to change from his grey sweats and black t-shirt (the grey one had mysteriously slipped into the wash again) when he got in, but dropped that idea and jogged down the corridor to her door, clutching the note in his hand.

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Taz's breathing was rapid and shallow, her palms were sweaty and she'd bitten her fingernails down as short as they could get without bleeding. She cast her eyes over to her empty wardrobe and gulped- there was nothing else to do. Nothing to distract her from the pure nerves that were pulsing through her like caffeine that was keeping her from sleeping. It was true- she hadn't slept for a week. A week. Though she hadn't slept it had gone by like lightning. She'd been keeping it from Up all this time, trying to act like normal, but she couldn't run away from it now. She had to tell him about the mission.

Taz had an action plan in her head though. She'd left a note for Up in his room a few minutes before he usually woke up, so he'd see it when he got back from the hospital. He was due to get to her room in five minutes. The starship was due to leave in ten. She'd tell him about the mission, but if she thought for a second that Up didn't want her to go, then she'd run and stop her bags being put on the ship where they were packed and ready to go.

And if he wanted her to go? She'd tell him. Si, like TELL him. Tell him everything she'd been holding in for almost six years now. And dios muerto she was nervous. What if he laughed at her? What if he tried to be kind to her and tell her it wasn't her, it was him? Ugh, she felt like vomiting. She couldn't face ruining their friendship if he said no, but she couldn't face not knowing if he'd say yes. She got up to yet again punch the wall, which had several dents in it already, when her door opened.

"Taz?" His voice was immediately soothing, but then made the nerves come back. She looked over to see Up's concerned eyes searching for her. They found hers and he gave her a small smile. "You said you wanted to tell me something? I got your note," he held up the piece of paper in his hand she'd ripped off the end of a G.L.E.E newsletter to write on. She looked down at the ground, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Jou'd better sit down." She said, trying not to make her voice waver. Up sat down on her bed and leant towards where she was standing in front of him, indicating she carried on.

She breathed out sharply and let it all out in one go: "I've been let off the eight months no missions." A look of premature relief came to Up's face.

"Well that's great Taz! Good job!" Taz shook her head. He didn't understand.

"Up," he looked into her eyes and she looked away again, "my next mission starts today. And Hibbart said that if I don't accept it, I'll go back to not being able to do anything. Not even teaching." She held her breath for his response, but still didn't meet his eyes.

There was a pause where Up was obviously thinking silently- something he rarely did. "Well that's still great, Taz!" She was furious. She wanted him to either ask her not to go, or say he wanted her to go- not try to hide what he was really feeling!

"No it's not, Up!" she shouted suddenly and stepped away from him, "If I go, then I can't teach the ensigns- they'll probably die on their first mission, I can't teach jou- and jou'll probably have to go back to dat hijo de puta Peter, and I'll have to be under the command of Hibbart and not jou- he won't be able to stand me!"

Up stood up from the bed but didn't walk forward, "That doesn't matter Taz! It's better for you to go! You have to go!" She could still hear he was trying to hide something; she let out an angry shout,

"UP! I CAN'T GO! JOU DON'T WANT ME TO GO!"

Up raised his voice too, "COME ON, TAZ! IT'S BETTER FOR YOU TO GO!" He was avoiding her question,

"BUT I CAN'T GO!" She had a feeling she was avoiding his hidden question too.

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK, TAZ! YOU WANT TO GO!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"WHY NOT?"

"BECAUSE JOU DON'T WANT ME TOO!"

"WELL MAYBE I DO!"

"I STILL DON'T WANT TO GO!"

"WHY NOT?"

"UP, I-"

"TAZ! WHY NOT?"

"BECAUSE I'M SICK OF LOSING THE PEOPLE I LOVE!"

They both stopped. Taz had tears streaming down her face and she didn't even care. She looked at Up and he looked like he could've had the same.

But he didn't. He looked her straight in the eyes. She looked deep into his. He stepped towards her and held her deep in his eyes too. He was right in front of her and they still hadn't blinked. They looked into each other's eyes deeper than they'd ever done in their lives. His like the ocean and hers like fire.

And the ocean met fire.

And his lips met hers.

Taz felt like her whole head was being flooded with emotion. Almost six years of suspense and almost-incidents between them both poured out into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her tightly- one hand on the small of her back and the other at the base of her neck. She slung her arms over at the back of his head on knotted his hair in her fingers. He ran his hands up and down her back and shivers ran down her spine. She screwed her eyes shut tighter and pulled him closer, and all she could feel was his warm mouth against hers. Her mouth melted into his, telling him everything she'd planned to say through her actions. His left hand reached up and twisted through her hair, making her pull him even closer, if that were even possible. It was like an ocean flooding her senses, turning them into pure love for the man in front of her. And he loved her back.

Suddenly she was flying. No- really flying. Up had hoisted he up onto his shoulder and she was watching her bedroom disappearing.

"Up where are jou taking me?" She did NOT like being carried, but her head was fuzzy from the kiss. He didn't reply, but she recognised they way to the starship dock, even backwards.

She started to panic. "UP!" She screamed at him but he wouldn't put her down,

"UP DON'T PUT ME ON THAT SHIP!" She started kicking his chest and trying to wriggle out of his grip, but he was stronger than her.

"UP PLEASE!" They were rounding the corner to the dock and she could see the rest of the crew there already getting on the starship, including Hibbart. She was red in the face from all her screaming, and she couldn't even see what Up's face looked like as he carried her to the ramp where the entrance to the ship was. She was screaming and kicking him with all her might when he put her down. She looked up at him to plead with him again, but the cool glass doors of the starship slid between them. She banged her fists on the glass and screeched for them to open the doors, but with no avail. She pressed herself to the glass and looked into Up's eyes as he watched her in her rage. His lips moved to say something to her. She couldn't hear it but she read his lips and knew what he said as the starship took off:

"I love you Taz."