Mental

Chapter Thirty-Four|Nicotine

Phil

To say that Phil missed Dan would be an understatement. As soon as Dan left Phil's room he had to hold his legs down to keep from chasing after him.

He tried to think of anything else but Dan, but he couldn't, and he was getting a new doctor tomorrow. All he could think about was how whoever they were, would never be as good as Dan.

Greta walked in with her red hair pulled up into a bun, and she was chewing her gum lazily as if it was a task to do so. She looked at her clipboard and smiled at Phil, "You excited to meet your new doc tomorrow?"

Phil rolled his eyes, "Unless this new doctor is Dan Howell, I really don't give a fuck."

Greta raised her eyebrows, "Not even if this doctor is a total hottie?"

Phil smirked, "Now what kind of actual God of a psychiatrist could be hotter than Dan?"

Greta shrugged, "You have a point. I actually have no idea what he looks like. What I do know, and was instructed to tell you, was that he was from Grand Estelle, and he's 28. His name is Joshua Dun."

Phil smiled, "Alright, doesn't sound to bad. At least he isn't an old geezer. Did he really come from Grand Estelle like Dan?"

Greta nods, "Yep. He was looking to get out of that place, so he applied here. I heard, but you might want to ask him yourself when you meet him, that he was involved with one of his patients too, but he got better with his help, and now they live together. Cool, right?"

Phil grinned, "Yeah, that's awesome."

Really? Could I get better with my mental illnesses, and be with Dan? I want to live with him. Maybe we could married some day? Would he want to do that? Maybe we could have kids or something, and be all happy in a home together. Our home. Does he want that? And Phil then realized he'd never wanted to escape Cynthia Hall more. He wanted a life outside of his cell, and he no longer wanted his crown seat here. He didn't want to be a prince. He wanted to be a king and rule with Dan. Rule the world. Or really, rather just a nice home. With some children and dog. Yeah...that'd be nice.

"Phil? Are you okay?" Greta asked as she tried to get his attention.

Phil pulled himself back to reality, "Oh yeah, I'm fine," he said.

Greta nodded, and then handed him some pills and a tiny cup of water, "Swallow."

Phil smirked, "Not the first time I've been told that."

Greta rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips, giving him a look to just take the goddamn medicine. Phil sighed suddenly losing his smile.

"Greta...can you be completely honest with me?" Phil asked quietly as he stared down at his pills.

Greta shrugged, "I guess."

Phil looked her in the eyes with a somber expression, "If I take these pills...will they really make me better? Is there a chance I can be with Dan someday?"

Greta stared at him with shocked green eyes for a second as she took a minute to process the question. Phil's heart was racing at the anticipation of the answer. Could it be yes? Could he lose his nightmares, and spend the rest of his life in a dream with Dan?

Greta took a deep breath, "Well, I think anything's possible, kiddo. These will just help you on your way to recovery."

Phil let out a breath like relief as a small smile played on his lips. A smile of hope. "Really?" He asked.

Greta nodded and also grinned, "Definitely."

And Phil swallowed the pills down in one go; casting aside his old beliefs that they would never help. He focused on the fact that he could actually be happy again, and that the once mocking blue pills were a sign of hope as they went down his throat.

Never has he ever felt so much in his heart in nine years. He wanted to escape his kingdom. He wanted to be loved. He wanted to be a runaway prince.

***

Dan rounded the corner to the cafe swinging his lunch in his hand. He could finally talk to Phil alone. He hadn't seen him in a day, and for some reason that was killing him. He couldn't contact him or sneak into his room, or really talk to him at all unless it was at lunch, or on Dan's day off.

Before he could even set his lunch down at a table he felt arms around his waist that turned him around so fast he yelped, but it was silenced as a pair of warm lips pressed themselves to his. Hey, I know these lips.

His eyes fluttered shut as he deepened the kiss and grabbed Phil's face. He felt him smirk into it as he did.

"Ooh, somebody missed me," Phil said as he pulled away gently.

Dan rolled his eyes, "I think it's pretty obvious you missed me more."

Phil smiled and sat down at the seat across from Dan, throwing his feet up into it, "You're absolutely right, babe. Always right. Because I swear, all I do these days is miss you. I used to have nightmares about the past, and not being able to stop the future, but now it's all just about you. You, you, you."

Dan shook his head, "Now that's no good. My job is make to make your nightmares better; not worse."

Phil rolled his eyes and removed his feet so he could lean over the table towards Dan's face, "It's not your job anymore, baby. But if you want to make the nightmares go away, kiss me again."

Dan smirked and kissed him quickly before sighing, "But that's where you got it wrong, Phil. It doesn't matter if I'm your official doctor, or not. I'm always going to care for you. From here on out, it's always my job."

Phil ran his hands through his hair, "I know there's something I'm supposed to say to that, but I can't find the words. Something endearing and sickly overused."

Dan smiled, because Phil was everything to him, and pecked his lips, "I love you too."

Right there, Phil considered telling him how much he wanted to be with him, and everything he wanted to do while they were together, but he didn't. He wondered if he should mention how much his heart has changed and that Dan was by far the best thing to happen to him, but he couldn't.

He asked Dan about his new patients, and listened instead.

Because even after all they've been through and all the things Phil has decided he wants to do, he still can't say it aloud. He still can't say, "I love you," And he wishes that the past would stop holding his tongue.

-

AN: Kind of a filler idk. I think I want to end at forty. Maybe earlier. I used to like writing this, but I've started to come up with too many other ideas, and this is holding me back. It's boring, and I don't know why you're here. What did I do right with Mental?

Go read my other shit I was actually always excited to write.