The Bad Ones

Jamie

The shudder game

Tender touches. Tender kisses. Tender words. They were spoken so softly I had to be still and listen closely as I watched my skin turn into a sleeve of goosebumps. It was almost like every part of me was lit on fire. My eyes were closed. Fisting the sheets tightly. My back is arched so far of the bed. Everything was black. I couldn't control my body. I couldn't control my words. I couldn't control the noises that came gushing out of my mouth.
I forgot where I was. I forgot who I was. I forgot what it felt like to be so completely over the edge everything disappears. Your brain quits working. Your heart is racing at the mere climax to ecstasy. It's almost too perfect. Its almost unreal.

This is what I was suppose to feel. Or was it? Was this what it felt like to love someone? Because deep down inside it felt like I was wrong. This isn't what I wanted. I wanted him. I wanted the guy I couldn't have. But he was taking me to a new place. To a different place. Maybe this was a different love. It had to be.

It felt too good not to be.

When I reached the perfect pleasure I needed, I flopped down onto the dirty sheets and my hands freed the sheets that I had a harsh hold on. I let out a breath and grabbed the hair thing I had around my wrist, tied my hair up not caring how it looked. He was watching me. Watching me in a way that made me want to do it all again. His sweet eyes that were so easy to read. His sexy body that made me want to drool. His tongue that licked his bottom lip well he watched my eyes roam his perfect features that left me soaked.

And then I was him. I wiped him away and held back the tears threatening to escape my eyes. I quickly reached for humor.

"I am exhausted from the last six rounds. Quit giving me that look. You know what that does to me, Romane." I say breathlessly.

He smirks before laying next to me. His arm wraps around my waist and pulls me close to his side. I didn't care how sweaty he was. I just wanted to be close. Being close to him made me feel like nothing could break the connection we just created.

"Anything for you, baby."

His words were charming but, his sincerity was questionable. He knew it was wrong. We were wrong. Everything we have been through should never had made us think differently. I have been through a lot with several different people, that doesn't mean I would jeopardize their futures because of it especially when I wasn't sure if I wanted a future with him.

"Romane. We can't do this again. I know I say that every time but, we really can't. You could get fired. Your career could end before it even starts. I don't want that for you." I explain making it clear I cared more about him than my own feelings. I didn't care for him just not in the way I felt like I should. The way I say that I do.

"It is only three weeks. Three weeks left and that's it. Three weeks is easy. Don't act like this. We have been through so much in just these five months. Don't give up." He begs me.

"Don't act like what? It's killing me inside that I can't pull you in and shove my tongue down your throat when I feel like it. I have to sit in class and watch you teach well, I want to shove everything off your desk and go at it. It hard, Romane. Can't you just say you can't sub for the rest of the three weeks? I am sure they can find another sub to feel in."

He shuffles a minute. He rolls his bottom lip into his mouth. He looks up at me and every scary thought running through my head disappears. His blue eyes swallow me whole.

Looks like round seven is ahead.

"I can't do that. My uncle took the time to get me this job. I need it." He explains frantically trying to make me understand.