The Bad Ones

Adrian

Plastic apologies

I had not slept in a week. You may not believe that and that's okay. I wouldn't believe me either. I didn't deserve to be believed. I deserved the hate. I deserved to be forgotten. I deserved to never love again. I deserved the worst pain possible. I wish I could go back. I was focused on my play boy reputation and hadn't even realized what I've become. When I look at Elodie the memories of the person I was slowly becoming, the better version of myself floods into my mind like a hurricane and reminds me of who I could have been. I could have been with Elodie. I could have tried. Instead I ran the moment I knew my walls were tumbling. Even if I pursued a relationship with her, I would have had to carry the guilt of blackmailing and...and I can't even say it. Why didn't I realize what I was doing? How could I be so fucked up to think that was right? I couldn't help the tear that escaped my eyes. I was tired of holding them in. I couldn't even think anymore. I needed to escape. I grab out a baggy from my pocket with my escape. I cried even more when I took it out and lit it up. Why did I keep doing this? I have to stop. I have to. The thing was, I couldn't. I wanted more. I wanted so much more. It helped me forget. It helped me forget the pain. It helped and help was all I needed.

Inhale...

Exhale...

Inhale...

Exhale...

It was a constant pattern as I let myself drift away to a place where nothing mattered. A place where I wasn't a screw up. A place where I could forget about the bad things I've done. The people I've hurt.

Would this stay with me?

"Did you take your godamn medicine?" My mother shouts over my loud music.

As usual she was more annoying than I could explain. She pretended like she cared and like my well being was so important though most days she wouldn't care if I shot heroine into my veins. Maybe I should take a page out of the old Carson Handbook.

"No, mom." I answer.

I put the joint between my lips again and take another hit.

"Make sure to spray when you're done. You know Dan doesn't like the smell. Also you need to get ready or you will be late again." My mother says plugging her nose.

In case you were curious, Dan was her pathetic excuse for a boyfriend. He was your average run of the mill bum. He stays on the couch with his beer gut sticking out proudly and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. It never quite made sense to me when he went on and on a out the smell of my contraband when he is smoking his own behind my mothers back. I had no idea what he was trying to prove to her considering he was already showing her he was a complete waste of space. He had no job, no home of his own, and bummed off her like hobo. It was sad to watch her give into wants and his so called 'needs.'

"Of course, mom. We both know how he gets. We can't have that now, can we?" Sarcasm was dripping from every single word I said.

"No we can't, Adrian and you know that. When you decide to finally spray, turn that shit down as well. Its too fucking loud." She nags before slamming my door.

Fucking cunt.

I take another hit before putting it out. I wasn't planning on spraying nor was I planning on turning the music off. Never once did I comply to Dan's wishes like my mother did. He was a little prick living off my mother.

I let out yawn before falling back on my bed. I reach over to my nightstand and grab my phone.

From: Elodie

Meet me in the library after school.

My heart quickened when I read the text. Was Elodie actually going to talk to me? Did I have a chance? I reread the text to assure my brain I was not seeing things. Elodie actually wanted to meet.

"Yo mom, I might be a little late getting home today!" I shout as I grab my leather jacket and slip a pencil between the top of my earlobe. I search for my binder and find it laying under my comforter before heading downstairs.

"Why will you be late?" My mother stands at the bottom of the steps with both of her hands on her hips.

"I got shit to take care of." I say urgently trying to get pass her.

"What shit?" She asks nosily.

"Can you put your somewhere else? I'm already late. Do you want me to miss the whole fucking day?" I ask getting more and more angry with her blocking the damn door. Finally she moves out of the way and I jerk open the door leaving as quick as I possibly could.

***

It was a long ass day of moving through idiots and trying to get to lessons as fast I could just to get the shit over with. Elodie better be worth it because I'm only going through this to see her after school.

"Adrian! How are you?" The moment I walk into sixth period Daniel is all over me.

"I'm good, bro." I say shrugging my shoulders as I take a seat.

"People have been talking a lot lately. Haven't been listening until I knew the truth." He informs even though I didn't give a fuck.

"Cool." I reply leaning back in my chair.

"So what exactly is the truth?" He asks looking at me with raised eyebrows.

"Can we just not. I'm tired of hearing about it and I don't even want to talk about it at all anymore." I reply trying my hardest not to sound like a dick.

"Sorry, mate." He says apologetically.

Before I can reply, Mr. Jackson already walks in the classroom and quickly begins his lesson.

Authors note:
So...is Elodie wanting to meet with him to give him another chance or...maybe for revenge? Who knows? Other than me...mwhahaha. That's photo to the side literally reminded me of this character I was like, "I need to stick it in this chapter."

This song is a little old...

Apologize - One republic

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