The Bad Ones

Elodie

Bad thoughts

Today was the first day I had ever thought about killing myself.

I had it planned out.

The way I was going to do it.

I couldn't decide if I was going to leave a note or leave in silence.

And then I knew. I wrote three notes in total. One for Caleb, my parents, and one for Carson. They were filled with apologizes and reasons.

I know it's sound morbid but, it felt like there was nothing left for me.

My mom is never around leaving me with my alcoholic father who practices his punching on me.
The boy I thought loved me like I did him turned out to be a perverted pig with no morals.

Caleb is completely pissed at me when I had nothing to do with the text that was sent to Jesse and him.

Carson was going through hell and I had been ignoring her leaving her to think about all of this shit by herself.
Now that she knows about Adrian and I she can't even look at me.

The whole school has been torturing me into oblivion. 'Slut' was freshly painted on my locker every morning.
Every time I walk down the hallway, I hear words like bitch and whore being directed towards me.It was breaking me and I had no idea if I was going to be able to cope.Cope with all of this.

How am I the whore?

How am I the slut?

How am I the bitch?

All I did was love someone and I had no idea that someone was fucking my friend behind my back. How did that make me the slut? I was confused and I felt small. So small that it felt like you needed a microscope to see who I really was.

Would I ever be founded? Figured out? Understood? Or was I trapped forever in a world where I was the suspect and Adrian was the victim.

Those thoughts were just running through my mind leaving me all depressed and making almost trapped.

"Don't forget to print those cheer fliers. It is your turn!" Jasmine Clark spoke almost jumping up and down from excitement. She was one of the most peppiest people I knew and it kind of made me hate her.

"Alright." I reply already dreading the idea of staying ten minutes longer in this hell hole.

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow, toodles." She blew me a kiss before walking out of the school doors.

Jesus.

She was honestly one of the most irritating people I had ever come in contact with.

I quickly make my way towards the library and head towards one of the old shitty computers we were supplied with. I login in as quickly as I could and start making this ridiculous flier as fast as I possibly could.

At first it was quiet and there was not a single noise until a heard a pair of footsteps coming from outside of the door. It freaked me the fuck out and I stand up walking towards the door of the library. I look outside of the glass doors and the hell was completely empty. I let out a sigh and turn back towards the computer about to make my way back to my work area before a loud bang on the glass door makes me turn towards it so fast I almost got whiplash.

When I see Carson standing through the glass doors with a smile plastered on her lips, I was completely confused.

I open the doors and she comes in quickly.

"Hey, I got your text about coming to the library after school so here I am. I assumed it was because of the flyer thing. Jasmine kept reminding me to tell you but I knew she would." She was rambling on and on but I was still focused on the first part of her sentence.