Caleb

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Bad intentions with wishful thinking

Guys are so hard to trust. They fuck you over more times than you can count with both hands. They deceive you and make you feel useless after they get what they want. They emotionally damage you to a point of no return. When I discovered I was gay, I wasn't upset that I was gay. I was upset that I had to be into the the gender that really knew how to break a person. That practiced it in almost every relationship they have been in.
It scared me and made me never want to peruse a relationship with another male. I knew how they thought. I knew what they wanted. I didn't want to be a target. The opposite. The girl. I just wanted to be me. No goal. I didn't want to be a goal. I wanted to be more than that.

Why can't I like vaginas?

Am I being sexist? I don't think I'm being sexist. I would never consider myself a sexist. I love girls. I love boys. I stand for quality for all. I just think boys go into a relationship with bad intentions. That isn't sexist. It's not. Girls care. They go into a relationship with the hopes of it lasting.

"Where's Elodie?"

I needed to talk to her. I needed someone to talk sense into my head and help understand things. I needed her.

"Who cares?" Jamie seemed almost disgusted with the idea of Elodie more than usual.

Jamie is and always had been a bitch. She pissed people off with her stupidity and her needy habits. It got under my skin more than anything when she went after Elodie. Elodie was my best friend. My sister. I had no idea went through this bimbos head to think it was okay to act like she was just another issue.

"I do, Jamie. Where the hell is she?" I growl getting more and more irritated.

"I don't know. Last I talked to her she was all pissy and zombie-like."

What did she mean-

Oh my God.

Adrian and Carson.

I had been so focused my dumbass problems when Elodie is going through this alone. I was a horrible friend. What have I done? She is probably do pissed.

"Speak of the devil and she shall appear." Jamie mumbles under breath.

I looked in the direction she was looking and seen Elodie walking deadly don't the hallway. She looked like complete shit. She was wearing sweatpants and an oversized shirt. Her usual gorgeous brown that always laid softly against her shoulders was thrown in a messy bun. She large black circle under her hazel eyes and a frown plastered to her chapped lips. Very chapped lips. Her usual black make up was replaced with no make up at all. She looked sad. Depressed even.

I quickly make my way towards her and she scowls when she noticed my presence. I looked at her with questionable eyes. I waited for her to answer them as she stared into them intently with a doubtful glare taking over face.

"I'm so sorry." It was a whisper. Only loud enough for her to hear.

The scowl she on her lips formed into a straight line and her angry eyes turned into sad pleading ones.

"It hurts so much." Her voice was scratchy as she tried to hold back the tears but, It didn't work. The tears she tried to hold back so hard came running down her face.

I grabbed her and pulled her into me. "It will be okay, I promise you."

She stared crying harder and I softly stroke her hair trying to calm her down.

"I'm so selfish." She sobs lifting her head off and trying to wipe her tears away but the moment she did more came running down her cheeks.

"How are you selfish?" I ask with wonder. Elodie was the least selfish person I knew. She put everyone before herself.

"I'm not crying for Carson. I'm crying for myself."

"Stop right there. You deserve to cry. He didn't just hurt Carson, Elodie. He hurt you too. You deserve to cry for as long as you need to." I say taking her face into my hands.

"Thank you for being there, Caleb." She says looking up at me.

"Anything for my best friend." I say wiping away a few tears from her face.

"What's going on here?"

I look away from Elodie and face the voice I knew belonged to Jesse.

"Adrian and I...we were together and I had no idea that he was-" Elodie tried so hard to finish but, she couldn't. Her voice broke along with her insides.

Jesse looked at Elodie with pure sympathy. I could he was struggling with giving her hug and having to face everyone asking how they truly knew each other or if he should walk away.

He does the right thing. He pulls her away from my grip and squeezes her.
I hadn't realized it as I watched them tears were escaping my eyes. I know I was being over dramatic but, seeing him stepping out of his comfort zone to make someone close to me feel better in front all these people made me feel like everything we've been through was worth it.

I watched as he whispered something in her ear and she smiled. She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You guys are both amazing. Thank you so much." She says wiping away the last of her tears. "I'm going to get to class."

I watch as she walls away. I had forgotten Jesse was standing beside me until I felt his hand on my shoulders. My eyes widen in realization, he was touching me in front everyone in the hallway.

I thought that was a huge step until he pulled me into his arms and I felt myself breathing heavily.

"I love you, Caleb. I know this isn't easy but, I'm ready now."

Before I could respond he leaned down and captured my lips into the most satisfying, passionate, and loving kiss that made me realize this was worth it.

He was worth it.

Authors note:
So, Elodie is showing up a lot for good reasoning. Anywhore, this the song I was jamming to well writing this:

That's what you get - Paramore

Caleb:

Goals 85 comments 95 votes2000 reads

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Goals
85 comments
95 votes
2000 reads

All my goals are long term! It takes time :)

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