Six teenagers.
They were all different but shared one thing in common.
They all had secrets that could get out in the most ugly way.
When some begin to surface. Someone gets angry. Someone decides they have had enough of these people who seem to...
I was completely transfixed by the way he could be so messy yet so beautiful. He looked perfect even when he was a disaster. It was one of the many reasons I loved him. There were so many more reasons. Like the way, he smiled even when I knew he wasn't okay. He made the best of things. When I was becoming completely unplugged, he was always the one to hold me up. He made me believe there was more to this world than hatred. Than negativity. It was almost like he really knew who I was more than I knew. His grip was tight that it was impossible for no one to notice. He pulled me in and rearranged my heart whole. The broken pieces it had once come together and he made everything okay. He owned me and I would do anything to be loved by him. Yet, hopeless dazing and broken promises turned into something so much more than that. He touched me and it was fire. He looked at me and it made me fall deeper. He spoke and everything he said I believed. He was alluring. Enchanting. I thought he would be a waste of time. A waste of energy. He was the opposite. He was worth more than anything I could give him. If I could give him all the time in the world, I would. Every time I felt him slipping away, I found a way to pulled him back. He made me smile. He made me melt. He listened. He loved. I never believed I was lovable until I met him. I never believed someone could ever care for me the way he did. The way he did everything made me completely memorized. I was enraptured by the way he held me so tight and made me feel like letting me go was never a possibility. But, somehow I felt like there was something missing. Something wrong. Something flawed. Could it be this perfect? Could a love like this last? My heart race inflated. My insides were crumbling. I was always scared of my feelings for him. I was more scared now than ever. It all happened so fast. Us. But, it felt right.
My thoughts need to be cleared. All they did was bring me down. I sank into oblivion and seen nothing but black. When he came around he shined the light creating nothing but, the perfect happiness. I couldn't stop seeing it so perfect. I forgot there could be broken pieces and sloppy messes. A cut through the good. A disaster to destroy it all. I hate negativity. The dark. I wanted to be next to him. I wanted the light to shine on my thoughts and turn them into something beautiful. For them to see what I saw. For them to agree with my eyes.
I was miles deep. Almost a half of the poison was gone and one line was snorted. Time was going slower with every hour passing. I patiently waited. Sitting pretty with the bottle glued to my hand. My hair was a mess. My throat was burning from the sheer taste of whiskey. My eyes were watering with tears. My legs felt like jello. I was getting tired of looking. Tired of searching. It was bringing me down. He was bringing me down. What if there's something missing?
Adrian: Hey. I'm so sorry I am late.
He was standing there with fists clenched and his messy hair laying silently in front of beautiful eyes. His signature leather jacket and his usual V-neck that made him look prepossessing. I wanted to latch on to him and pull him in. I wanted to yell at him and make him understand how pathetic I felt waiting. I wanted to tell that I couldn't do this without him. I wanted to tell him I loved him so much I hurt.
"We might get caught," I mutter.
I turned away. I couldn't get lost in his eyes and I knew if I did...I couldn't take a stand.
"I'm sorry. I got caught up. I don't care if anyone sees, we will just tell them your, my tutor. They don't know anything." He whispers seductively into my ear.
He was ridiculous. He wouldn't see. He made me trust every word I thought could be true. He made me second guess myself. He made me think I could lose him at any moment. I didn't want to feel that. I wanted to know I would have him.
"Why don't you want to tell people about us? Is it just me? Is there someone else?" My voice was getting louder and louder every time I spoke.
"Why would you be suggesting that? Clearly, you're drunk. God Elodie, do I need to fucking keep alcohol away from you?" His voice almost sounded threatening to making me scoff.
That's when I lost it. Tears began to fall down my cheeks. I could feel my face become hot from the anger that was flooding my body. I wanted to hurt him as he hurt me.
"Alcohol isn't my problem right now. It's you! It's always fucking you." I shout hitting his chest.
"What did I do to you except loose track of time? I apologized twice." He tells me grabbing a hold of my forearms.
"I love you."
The words slipped and I didn't mean for it to happen. It just came out. I look down at the table and begin to massage my temples. What did I do? I can not believe I just said that.
"What?"
His eyes were wide and filled with fear. I knew that was a bad idea and for some reason, I said it out loud. I made a full of myself. I knew if he felt the same then he would have said it back already. He would have grabbed my face and kiss me. Kiss me in a way that I know. Emotions were flooding my mind as I keep revisiting the 'I love you' over and over again in my head.
"I-I can't say it back."
I look up. Tears were drowning my face. All he had to say was he couldn't say it back? He couldn't lie to me at least. I couldn't take it. It was too much. I was feeling like a fool. A clown. I couldn't believe I had said those words. Those three words that I knew would make him run in the opposite direction.
"Let's just forget it and enjoy the party. Alright?" He asks with the fakest smile I ever saw him wear.
"Our date?" I ask frowning. I already knew the answer.
"Rain-check?" He asks trying not to make eye contact.
There it was.
I shake my head yes and he walks away.
I couldn't lose him. I couldn't imagine losing him. He was all I knew. But, maybe this was it and deep down I knew that.
Authors note:
So...yeah. I wanted to put this out yesterday but, I also wanted to make sure it was perfect.
The song that was playing during the chapter is...
Love me - The 1975
Elodie:
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