To All The Michaels I Have Ever Known

Letter #16

This morning I took a shot of DayQuil and then had a medium coffee.

I can't promise that I'll never make this decision again, but the world is very jumbled right now, and that isn't exactly helping my state of mind. I'm not entirely sure how I am going to get up and walk to class. The floor is kind of like bricks, you know, rectangular and stuff, and they kind of look like circles right now. I wonder if this is what it's like to be drunk. Or high. I wonder if you know what it's like to be drunk or high? I don't know what it's like to be drunk or high.

You seem like the type that would try it once and then never do it again because you either (1.) made bad life choices and never want to do it again or (2.) are a lightweight so drinking is a very bad thing for you. I'm going to go with (3.) all of the above, but that's just my opinion. Just take my advice, as a believable college student, never take DayQuil with coffee. It will just ruin your life.

Also, don't take seventeen credits in your first semester. That just has trouble written all over it because you are trying to work to make money so you can move out someday and you are also trying to get an education so you can get a good job so you can work and move out someday. But those things basically have the same goal, so maybe you should do one at a time. It's circular, really. If I were to give a high schooler any advice, that would be it. Not the "Don't drink coffee and DayQuil" thing. The "Don't work thirty hours and take seventeen credits" thing. I mean, you don't actually have to believe me, but give it two years, and I'm allowed to say that I told you so.