Crushing on the surfer (editing)

Chapter 19

We'll Christmas is over I was pleased
with my gifts I got a new iPod and beats by dre I was super excited!

I went to visit other family members which turned out to be a nice day.

My mind was trying to focus on reality but it was hard when I couldn't stop thinking about sammy.

I know I know I'm stupid but I think I have made my decision on who I would pick and even though Seth has not stopped texting me I gotta let him go.

It was going to be weird when we go back to school Seth and Jake will finally be back and we'll I don't know how that's going to be... well at least for me it's going to be tempting it will be hard but I will try my best to ignore him.

I chose Sammy I know I love him no matter what even though we're friends and he has a girlfriend I know it sounds really bad but you never know I'll be his best friend but I'll also secretly love him more than a best friend.

This is something I wanted and will have to deal with and I will try not to complain.

Me and Sammy are all good we talk everyday which is nice.

It just gets harder and harder for me.

Especially when I go on tumblr and see he is still with his girlfriend.

I just want him to be happy I keep telling myself.

I want him to be happy with me.

I wanna be the reason he smiles the reason he is happy I wanna be the one he loves the one he misses the one he thinks about before he goes to bed and when he wakes I want to be the one he can count on. I just wanna be his girl. I just wanna be the one he tells " I love you" every night.

Is that to much to ask for?

* Seth's POV*

I've tried everything I know I've fucked up lately especially with the Stacie thing.

I was being stupid. I didn't like Stacie I didn't even love her I told her that just so I could fuck her and it worked. But realizing how much if had hurt autumn I felt the guilt and then Stacie got all clingy and she wouldn't let me out of her sight.

I don't know what I'm going to do she hasn't texted me I keep texting her to let her know I care but every time my phone lights up I always think it's her.

But to my disappointment it's not.

I don't know what I'll do I don't know how I'll prove my love for her.

Yes I said love.

Ever since last year I noticed her walk in with Macy.

She was new and pretty she didn't look like she fit in with us.

Of course I didn't say hi I just wanted to observe her for a while.

I had hoped the girls here wouldn't give her too much drama hoping there not too mean to her.

The girls here pretty much suck.

We don't have many that are nice.

There all snobs and a lot of guys are too but there nicer than the girls I don't hang out with much of the girls here only the ones that are chill.

Everyday I would sit down in the back table.

I would see her always on her phone she looked nervous.

Poor girl.

She sat in the table next to mine.

I remember I needed paper and I looked at her and she looked at me and was about to say something but my friend Austin butt in and gave me paper.