Crushing on the surfer (editing)

Chapter 32

I know I shouldn't feel this way but in a way I feel lonely.

I have Jayden and Seth at the house all the time but...

Sammy has been well not here he's working all the time and well he goes out more than usual and I don't know what I'll do.

I hate to say it but were drifting apart from each other and I'm somewhat trying to accept it.

I started to cry softy to sleep.

Because I know what's coming.

And honestly I don't know when it will happen and well it's going to be hard. Even if it won't happen soon I have just a really bad feeling I usually ignore when I feel like this but lately I haven't.

I've actually talked to Seth about it because he made me realize what's happening and if it does happen and I pray that it doesn't I'll move in with Seth.

I thought I was a good girlfriend maybe Jayden being here he's realizing that it's not what he wants and I can't blame him.

My happily ever after was odd but I thought it was perfect but everything comes to an end.

I'm a teen mother the baby daddy is my friend and never was anything more and I'm dating someone else who I loved more than anything in the world but is confused if I should let him go?

Love is really confusing but I know I love Sammy with all my heart and I will work on not loosing him I will fight for him.

Because I love him.

* Seth's POV *

I feel bad for autumn I was the one who talked to her about what was going on Sammy has been gone most of the time I hardly even see him and well I know she's hurting inside because of it.

I just explained to her the scenario if it does happen she will move in with me and she might need to let Sammy go I mean he's living with his girlfriend who has a baby that's not his and not to mention the baby daddy lives with the mom and the boyfriend I mean I would of left to be honest.

I'm going to be leaving soon and going back to school next week maybe he's not here because of me?

So I'm leaving earlier than I planned so I can give them their space. maybe that was the problem but if it doesn't still workout after that then I don't know.

I can see she's deeply in love with him I can see it in her eyes because they way she looks at him is the way I look at her.

I feel bad because she will be all alone with Jayden and well it just upsets me but my mom wants me home and I miss my parents and my friends I love my little family I have.

If you even call us a family? I'm not positive if we are even a "family".

Sometimes I wish we had a family.

I packed my stuff and put it in my car it took me almost a hour I had a lot of crap their.

I was sad leaving Jayden because he won't stay with me for another month. but I have many pictures to show the guys.

I just hope her cousin won't kill me yet he hasn't talked to me much since this whole thing happened but he doesn't matter to me. Yeah we were really good friends but he doesn't have to freaking hate me because I knocked up his cousin okay putting it that way maybe it's understandable.

I kiss Jayden goodbye and I carry him and then I finally say bye to autumn and kiss her on her cheek and give her and Jayden a hug.

I know I'm not leaving permanently but I was so used to living with them that it will feel odd to not wake up in the middle of the night to heat up or make bottles I will miss giving him baths but not changing him it will be weird to not hold him not to hear his cooing.