Unfinished

Wonder girl

You ever try and save someone and just ruin yourself in the process?

I think my major problem in life was trying fix broken people and breaking myself in the end. I'd give pieces of my self to broken people trying to build them back not knowing how much it would break me.. then in the end when the broken people were all shiny and new with pieces of me, they'd move on.. leaving me in the position they started in. I always wondered who was supposed to save the super hero. Who saves the one that saves them all? Who was gonna offer me their pieces ? I had to come to the conclusion that I had to save my self just as I had saved others. Instead of gaining pieces from people, I gained my pieces from experience. Building a new perspective and a new person. I was ready to hang my cape the fuck up , though.

It was something attractive about the broken people, something about wanting to know their story.. who broke them? Who took their pieces? Could I fix them?

2016
Cree

Me and cree officially made it 3 years being best friends, I had stuck with him through it all. Held on to his hand as he drunkly drove us home doing 80 on the dash, staying up to make sure he woke up for his early class the next morning even though I was tired as hell. shit it would be days where we had to wear coats in the car cause the heat just wasn't fucking with us. I'd spend my last dollars on gas, I never minded though, because when I needed him to, cree and his trusty hoopty would show up for me. Rescuing me from a bad day or a bad dick appointment. When May had passed and Cree finally graduated it was like we made it. I felt his excitement .. shit our long nights paid off, my boy did it. Better days came, a new car, a new job, baby boy was living .. he was no longer broken. There was no problems, we were happier than ever, constantly with each other. Shit we were goals. I was shitting. I had two best friends that every one wanted.

You know though, those broken people always get ahead of themselves.. I thought my spot was solidified. All the shit me and Cree been through, man who's checking me? What bitch taking him? Boy was I wrong .. a girl had came Around and had cree acting stuck on stupid. Had sis violating me in the room I spent a day setting up, on the furniture my name signed for, on the bed I made up first. He had me fucked up. Just like that I realized I wasn't necessary anymore, he was whole now. What did he need from me? Oops there goes a piece of me.

2016
Jade

When I started day this day, I expected it to end how it usually did. Me returning to my bed, alone. Things didn't go as expected at all though... I had met up with my original bestfriend Sammy, me and Sammy hadn't seen each other in a while and he randomly hit me up asking to take me out and a bitch ain't turning down a meal, and I had missed him, so I went. After that I wasn't ready to go home & my old nigga who lived in the area wasn't answering, so I was like Fuck it, post on Facebook bitch. I asked who wanted to see me and Jade had replied right away, she had been liking my statuses and commenting on them a lot and I was like fuck it what could go wrong? We get on the phone and she's spilling all her tea, how she fuck with home girl man and she's a proud side bitch, i was all fucking ears, shit go head boo spill your life! She fucked me up when she finally said " yeah you and his girlfriend are friends .." automatically it clicked. This Bitch set me up, messy ass. I put 2&2 together and got 20 bitch. I wasn't with the antics ! When I got to jades " house " we couldn't stay there. I found out later that it was her friends house, and her friend seemed to wanna get rid of her and I couldn't figure out why.. I brushed it off though. Thinking we were finally going to her house, we walked into a building and she was telling me how we was going to another friends house.. so she knocks on the door and the girls mother looks annoyed like " so & so isn't here. " & Jade gonna say " well can I wait for her " the girls mother looked at her with disgust, I was starting to realize she over stayed her welcome at places.. why the fuck everyone getting rid of you ? We literally sat in the stair case for mad long until the girl who lived there came home, I was saying to myself .. belle take your ass home please, but my nosey ass wanted to know more of the business and since me and Cleo wasn't talking at the time I had no one to really talk to any way. Automatically I peep that jades two friends are young birds cause they was getting dressed up to go to a house get together .. I was over the vibe immediately, so I hit sis with the " well I'm boutta go home ..... I'm tired and shit " & just like that the bitch was like " well can I come too ? " i was saying to myself .. ho don't you ever watch life time ?! I could have a weird uncle or something ! But she had told me about her home situation and it wasn't the best ... so I was like fuck it & collected little orphan annie and made my way home. She was generous with her money and overall sweetheart. I could tell she was messy as hell though.. within a few days sis turned my life upside down, had me in drama I had nothing to do with and shit, I lied and told her my mom said she couldn't come back. That was the end of that real quick.

Stop giving out pieces of your self to people who are gonna take them and run. Without a second thought, or with no intentions of returning the love you gave to them. Everyone doesn't deserve you. Everyone doesn't deserve your help, your love or your time. It's okay to be selfish. It's okay to wanna keep all of you.. it's okay to not wanna break off pieces. Don't let anyone tell you any different. You are sacred. Your heart is sacred. Just anyone doesn't deserve it.