Unfinished

Aftermath

I hadn't intended to be any ones role model. I didn't intend to save or change anyone. Some how with the last book I did just that.. and some of the girls I've encountered within this journey started ones of their own.

2016

Gracie

Gracie had of course met me from my book and lived some where in hot ass, dreadful ass, Alabama. Anytime I thought of Alabama I had flashbacks of hot weather and country accents. Gracie and I had a few conversations on Facebook but some how we clicked and was on face time while we both had drool on our face. When I met Gracie she had been a virgin & a senior in high school. A typical good girl, upon us being friends she started breaking out of her shell .. she called me one day panicking " bitch, omg ! Bitch ! Guess what I did " & I was confused, what could country innocent ass Gracie could've done ? ... this bitch had sucked dick in a laundromat parking lot. My internal soul was screaming !!! Part of me was like BITCH GO DF OFFFFFFF HOOOOO !!, cause y'all know im for all the antics, okkkkk??? But the other part of me was like .. wait bitch.. a parking lot? I ain't authorize that!!! I teased her about it ever since because that topped me and all my hoe antics all together. A parking lot bitch? Shit I was here for it. She blamed me of course , she said I made girls feel like they can do whatever they wanted and it would be okay.. but let me remind y'all, I do NOT condone parking lot activities.. don't start doing that shit. New York City isn't Alabama. You will get caught. When Gracie finally lost her virginity it had to be the funniest day of my fucking life, you hear me? She called me like 4 times in a row till I answered and yelled through the phone like " Nyquesha I lost my fucking virginity!!!! " she didn't sound excited though, she sounded angry as hell. I laughed immediately and wondered what the problem was. " BITCH HIS DICK WAS SMALL AS FUCK!!!! HIS BIG ASS WAS HUFFING AND PUFFING ON TOP OF ME, AND HE WAS DONE IN SECONDS AND BITCH IT DIDNT EVEN HURT !!!! " I was crying so bad that I had tears. " but Gracie didn't you suck his dick? Didn't you know it was small ? " " BITCH I HAD FAITH OKAYYYY?! I FUCKING MISSED SCHOOL FOR THIS !!! THIS YOUR FAULT, I WENT FROM BEING INNOCENT TO SUCKING DICK IN PARKING LOTS AND LOSING MY VIRGINITY. LIFE COMES AT YOU SO FAST!!!! " bruhhhhhhhhhh apart of me felt bad & another part felt like.. wow did you really change her like that? You really had that power ? It was a scary feeling. I loved Gracie so much and I knew she wasn't actually mad at me. The whole situation made me realize how much influence I had. She killed me at the end of the conversation, " this man had the nerve to say I was gonna go to work happy .. no fat ass, Ima go to work mad as a Bitch ! Like every other fucking day ! "

Maddy

Maddy was another girl I had met because of my book. Her and her bestfriend reminded me a lot of me and Cleo. They were savages and dragged any one who bothered me. They were from Cleveland, maddy was a virgin, who had went through a breakup with girl.. surprisingly she wrote me one day saying she had lost her virginity and I felt like all my innocent friends were dropping their innocence at the door! She told me how she had met some nigga into all this kinky fifty shades of gray shit and he would spoil her rotten with gifts and I was all fucking for it. Bitch found her a keeper on the first try. SHIT i was ready to take my talents to Cleveland.

Btw: this was written on Rays Birthday, happy birthday beautiful. Keep being you in all your glory and all your greatness. I can't wait to see you.

Bee
Bee was from Virginia and she reminded me a lot of my self, she was really young and took to me immediately. Within a year I watched her literally change and become someone new. She went from asking for my help when people bothered her, to slaying everyone on her own. She found her voice. I was so happy for her. Little chubby black girls rarely have people who understand what they go through, and even though I never signed up to be anyone's role model, I found my self living life through her. I wanted her to feel as loved as i should've.

In the end, all these girls I encountered became more confident versions of themselves upon meeting me and it made me happy, because they were already dope as fuck but society had convinced them they weren't. I was here to tell them, they could do what they wanted unapologetically. They didn't have to settle because they weren't at societies standards. They all turned into bad bitches on their own.