Unfinished

Redemption

With a lot of things I did I often dealt with karma. That's how it went.

I think this book is different from the first one because I'm writing this in a different light, with all the shit I've done to people, I always felt it again. Whether it was through heartbreaks or betrayal, I felt it. Being only 20 though, I have so much further to go. I have so much more to learn and have so much more room to grow. I say that because a lot of people tend to feel stuck, stuck in themselves and their situation.. but believe me life changes. You change. Everything becomes different. A year ago my only goal was to be a teacher. I did that. Now I wanna be so much more. Don't worry about other people's growth, just because you aren't growing at the same rate doesn't mean you aren't growing. Everyone really grows differently. You don't know what people go through to get where they are, worry about you and your journey.

It's okay not to have a plan, life doesn't come with one. Follow your heart, even if it leaves you eating ramen more often than you want to. Whatever you do, do it with passion. Accept your karma, when bad things happen, they happen for a reason. Never be afraid to apologize for what you've done and those you hurt. Even if they don't accept it, it's not for them it's for you. Accept apologies too, harboring hate does nothing good for you. Let all that shit go!!! Redeem yourself by letting go and letting god, you hear me?!

I think 2016 was my best year and worse year. I almost lost my bestfriend. This year put our friendship through the wringer, I think it made us real. So many people seen me and Cleo as the ultimate goal, and I think everything we've been through publicly made us realize how we're just like everyone else. We go through shit & we grow through shit. Believe it or not, I wouldn't wanna go through this life shit with anybody else. We're on two different paths that hopefully connect, and if they don't that's another story for another time.

2016 made my circle the best ever. It took away all the cancerous people and left me with 3 bitches who all have something going for themselves, all in school, all have a bigger picture. I feel so beyond blessed to be ending my year with my second book. I'm so happy to be starting and ending my year with you guys.

Put yourself first next year. Be selfish. Think about what you need, what matters to you. Find someone who's gonna love you as much as you love you. Love yourself as much as your mother loves you. That's the key. Appreciate what you have and don't stare at other people's plates. Y'all had the same amount, y'all just eating differently.

To Marriah : thank you. Thank you for bringing such light and wisdom into my year, thank you for your perspective. Thank you for being strong and also being real. You are not your struggles. You are so much more than what you've been through and you show it every fucking day. I aspire to have the mentality you do, but Im starting to believe that different journeys create different people and you were meant to be you. I think I'm meant to be crazy and unapologetic. You balance me. You humble me. I love you Marriah Joy.

To Segun: you know what's crazy? We've only known each other for a month or two but you treat me like you know me like the back of your hand. You aren't afraid to call me out on my bullshit and tell me what I'm doing wrong. You believe in me more than any other male I know and it says so much. Between you and Marriah I feel supported, I see you following your dream, remaining humble and real and finding time to deal with me and my bullshit and I'm extremely grateful. You have yet to give up on me and stop replying when I need your input and I'm thankful for that.

To Sasha: when destiny passed away you took her position and loved me. You loved me as she would have. You treated me like you'd treat her. You bully me and bother me the same way. No one can tell me we aren't related. The love runs so deep and I thank you for loving me, for accepting me and having your own bond with me. You're doing everything you can to fly, you haven't let anything clip your wings and I love seeing you soar.

To MIYAH: your love makes me feel like I can literally go outside and do anything. You make me feel like I can move mountains and fight tigers. You motivate me, you let me cry. You let me be human. You don't look at me to be your superhero. You became mine. You let me be weak, you let me be sensitive, you let me be angry. I appreciate you beyond these words could explain. Our friendship has just begun & I don't see it ending. Here's to road trips , grand theft auto and everything in between, bitch.

Merry Christmas & Happy Newyear

- Belle Porter 🌹