Little Do You Know

XXIX: Hermit Mode.

          

Chapter 29.

Endellion

"You're sulking," stated my best friend plainly, sighing and wrapping her arms around my shaky shoulders. "Delly, snap out of it, this isn't like you-you've been like this for an entire day, don't you think that getting up and doing something is better than sitting here and increasing your anxiety level? Get up, Sweetie." She spoke sternly yet ever-so-gently.

I hated to admit it, but she was right. For the past twenty-five hours or so, I'd stayed in my bed, getting into what Ceci called the 'hermit mode' which consisted of me laying in bed all day, wrapped up in a blanket and brooding over the issues life brought upon me.

The 'hermit mode', albeit being very time-consuming as it could go on for days, was helpful too. It helped me collect my thoughts and run through what happened and what was said by the brown haired asshole that spilled out hurtful words without a care in the world.

To say I was angry at Luther would be a huge understatement. But more so than angry, I was upset--sad, really--because I'd grown to develop positive feelings towards him—some of which I had no clue the purpose of—and those feelings of trust and care were badly injured by the knife he'd sunk through them, his words dealing damage that was fatal, almost beyond repair.

Aside from Luther, I thought about my father. He seemed to have done something terrible to Luther and the rest which came unsurprisingly to me, since I knew my father wasn't the most kind-hearted person on the planet.

My father was a cruel man, alongside my mother, of course. However, what made him better than my mother in my eyes was the fact that I thought he, albeit doing plenty of unlawful things, wouldn't stoop as low as to commit murder.

Of course, the burning hate in Luther's eyes and his words caused me to think otherwise.

And oh did I not want to believe that. Because if my father had actually committed murder, or was the reason to one's death, I'd break down for good. I'd be left behind with no family... I tried to imagine that; both my parents coming out as murderers, oh how cruel would that be.

A tear fell down my cheek as I unwrapped the blankets from around me and nodded my head at Ceci. "You're right, I'll go wash up. I'd like to clear my head a bit—don't you have music class, soon?" I asked as I got up from bed and walked over to the bathroom. I turned and looked at Ceci just in time to see her nod her head. "You should go then, or you'll be late."

She sighed. "Yeah," she got up, putting on her shoes and said, "Take care of yourself, Delly, go take a walk after freshening up. I love you."

"Love you too," I murmured, walking into the bathroom and closing the door, locking it soon after. I could hear the faint sound of the front door closing.

After removing my clothes, I stared at my naked figure in the mirror and looked at the closed up scars on my wrists and thighs.

Now that I thought about it, I hadn't cut in a while. And weirdly enough, the thoughts of cutting hadn't come up my mind during the past couple of weeks.

I was happy, I mused while shaking my head, contemplating on whether my current depression was worth the relapse.

Sighing heavily, I picked up a razor from beside the sink and opened the water, plugging up the bath to allow water to surface.

I got into the tub and took in a deep breath, staring at the razor in my hand as thoughts seeped through my brain.

My father killed their families--that's what Luther had said. But why? What relevance did their families have for them to be the targets of my father?

There was simply nothing I could think of that could have been enough of a reason for my father to kill.

I took in a shaky breath and slid the razor over a patch of skin on my forearms. My father would never do something as atrocious as killing without a reason. There must've been one.

And I was adamant on finding it out.

                                       ---

After I cleaned up, I wrapped my arm up and put on a gray hoodie along with a pair of gray joggers and some white sneakers then headed outside, feeling like a warm cup of hot chocolate.

The garden wasn't full, but it wasn't empty either. A few teenagers hung around, laughing and jumping on one another, others were sitting, some in pairs, some solving homework by themselves.

Everyone seemed to be having a blast, and I immediately felt that I didn't fit in with the environment, my shit mood being a hindrance of sorts.

My feet dragged me to the familiar coffee shop. As soon as I entered, I was met by the beautiful smile of the familiar ebony haired barista. "Hey, Del-del! Long time no see!" she greeted, when I stopped in front of the cash register. I smiled at her.

"Hey, Macy! I know...I haven't found the time to come here, sadly." I said, an apologetic smile plastered on my face.

Macy pouted, her full lips looking bigger than they already are. "What a shame..." she mumbled, fixing a picture that lay on top of the counter. I was reminded of her obsession with picture frames. Just then, her eyes lit up and she looked back at me with a huge grin on her face. "I just remembered! You looked great in that vid back in the science fair." She gushed.

I chuckled, memories of the fun time I had back in that trip cascaded in my brain. "Yeah, it was fun to film."

Macy smirked, "Sure it was, especially since you were very cozy with that hottie, Luther." She winked, teasingly.

My heart sank at the thought of Luther and I nervously chuckled, not wanting to talk about him at the moment.

Macy seemed to notice my uneasiness and decided to change the subject, asking me what I wanted to buy, to which I replied with a wide grin. "Hot chocolate and a large chocolate chip cookie."

Once I got my food, I went and sat at a table in a corner.

My last thought before biting into the juicy cookie being, I will talk to my father, and then, I will avenge my friends.

I didn't care if that meant giving up on my own father; because if he was low enough to kill, then he was not someone I would call my father.

UNEDITED.