A/N: When you see (y/n) <-- that means Insert Your Name.
~~~~~*~~~~~~*~~~~~~*~~~~
"I said change your clothes first! you got wet by the rain!" Saeran can't believe at how stubborn (y/n) can be. Ever since they arrived, he told her to change her clothes first and so he can avoid her but it seems like she knows that and wont listen, she's insisting that they talk first.
"I said I don't care!" the girl sighed and her face soften, like she was trying to hold back her tears. "Can we please stop shouting at each other? sit down and we'll talk"
"Whatever, be stubborn all you want" He throw the clothes on to the coffee table, turned around and was about to leave. She stands up and grabbed his wrist. "Im stubborn?! then what do you call yourself!!" he tried to pulled back but the girl used both of her hands to hold his wrist. "I get it saeran, it's obvious you don't like me! But don't be like this!" She started crying as she let go of his wrist, and placed both of her hands to cover her face. "Im sorry! i-i hate myself for confessing to you and ruining our friendship.."
Saeran couldn't move as he watch the girl he loves cry because of him, seeing her like that he knows he have to tell her the truth. his hands are shaking as he slowly reach for her but she turned around. "I.. shouldn't have said anything.. I shouldn't have--"
Saeran placed his trembling hands on her shoulder and gently let her, faced him. He then Embraced her gently. His mind is going crazy but regarding of what's happening now it felt like the words are about to come out like a word-vomit. "Don't be like that (y/n) It's not your fault.. its me. I just can't be brave enough." she was still sobbing on his chest. he closed his eyes as he embraced her tighter. "even if I.. I.. I l-love you" he said in a whisper.
"huh?" the girl looked up to him, really shocked and confused. He wiped her tears away and smiled weakly. He inhaled a lot of air as he felt sort of nervous and then he repeat. "I... I love you (y/n) but you shouldn't love me, You deserve someone better..." he said sadly and like he was about to cry, but he was holding back his tears.
"You love me? but we can't? why?? I don't understand, saeran" now that he said what he really feels, he knows he should explain to her but he's not ready yet. "Let's just say, that you deserve someone better."
"Who are you to decide for me, on who's better? I love you, saeran and I want you!" saeran let her go and stepped back as he shake his head. "Oh (y/n) you can only say that because you don't know anything about my past."
"I can accept you no matter what your past is..." She tried to touch him but he moved away again and looked away. "You can? hmm.. maybe? maybe you can?" He sighed then glanced at her with that sad look on his face. "But I can't. I had recovered somehow.. but some part of me still got stucked on my past.. for 5 years I still wake up, shivering from my old nightmares"
"Let me help you then saeran, im here for you.." she smiled a bit. he shakes his head, he was really scared about all of this, if he should trust and love her. his doubts and fears are too much to handle. He's also scared that he might break down one day while they're together and hurt her emotionally or physically. He know he can never forgive himself if that ever happens.
"No, please stop! please.. just leave tomorrow and forget about me." He went out of the house and left her there before she can even say something.
He kept on walking down the street his minds are filled with thoughts that his head is starting to ache. his phone then rings that eh got distracted and he answered it.
"Hey, brother. Did you find her?" -Saeyoung/707
"yes.." -Saeran
"Ok that's good. So.. did you two talk?" -Saeyoung/707
"yes.." -Saeran
"And??" -Saeyoung/707
"I.. told her that I love her" -Saeran
"Y-you did?! I didn't think you would.. but thats good! does that mean that---" -Saeyoung/707
"No! it's not like that. I told her I love her but I also told her that she deserves someone better.." -Saeran
"S-saeran... why would you say that? You're an amazing person! no one can be better than you, and im not just saying this because im your twin. Im saying this because I know you. And if you want I can start listing down why I think so" -Saeyoung/707, tried to joke a bit on the last part to lift up his mood.
"Thanks, saeyoung. I gotta go now" -Saeran
"Wait! Saeran.. I know you're having a hard time, but when you make a decision, just make sure you won't regret it in the end. Also love is all about taking a risk but that doesn't mean it will lead into a bad ending. Well good night brother." -Saeyoung/707
He let his brother's words run into his mind again and again until he reached his house, but it still all end up on him being scared. He saw (y/n) sleeping on the couch, he carried her bridal style and put her to bed. "Im sorry for being a coward.. I just don't have the strength yet and im afraid I'll never have the strength I need to be able to trust and love someone completely" he said in a whisper then he stared at her beautiful face, even if it was all puffy from all the crying.
~*~
He cooked breakfast before (y/n) wakes up, and left the food on the bedside table. When she woke up, she ate in silence then got out of the bedroom and saw saeran on the couch, working on his laptop.
"Saeran, about last night. I know you're scared.. but if you'll let me understand you, if you'll let me help you.. I think we can work this out" She sits next to him and hold his hand. Saeran gaze at their hands before sighing and looking at her. "Tell me about your past.."
"Fine. you want to know about it? you want to understand?! When I was a kid, I have a father who wanted to kidnapped me and my twin to kill us! our mother was using us, to blackmail our father and.. she.. she would always beat us up and starved us, especially me! because I was weak.." Saeran was clenching his fist, the pain was still fresh like it all happened yesterday. "My twin brother.. my only companion in that hell.. left me. It's all clear now why, but he still had left me in the hands of our cruel mother, while I cry and worry about what had happen to him." tears are now both streaming down on their face's.
"And for some reason I have a rotten luck! when I was saved from that place. I was put into a more hell-ish place. Someone used me, Brainwashed me, drugged me so I'll hate my brother and do what she would desires." She was so shocked to hear all of that and felt so sorry about him, She hugged him tight.
"Everyone I know, ends up hurting me so badly.. That I can't.. I can't! bring myself to trust anyone else anymore!" Saeran hugged her as well as he cries hard. "I want to trust you... but I don't want to be abandoned again, I don't want to believe things are finally getting better but in the end it will hit me like a truck. I don't want to get hurt anymore!"
"Oh saeran! I'm so sorry! you didn't deserve all of that" She can't help it but to cry too, she felt his pain and finally understood why he's so scared. Saeran let her go and looked at her. "See? D-do you still accept me? Do you still love me?" it took her some few minutes before she can answer. "Yes... I do, still love you and accept you"
Saeran was so stunned to what he heard that he couldn't talk or move. "You didn't deserve everything that had happened to you, and it wasn't your fault. I completely understand what you feel and why you're scared. I won't rush you.. if you wanted some space.. if you wanted some time. im willing to give it all to you, until you learn how to trust me!" she sobs as she wipe her tears away.
"(y/n), Thank you for saying that" He felt a bit better that it turned out like that but like what he had said, he's still scared and not really sure how he would get rid of that feeling. "Im sorry (y/n) but I still believe that you are better off without me, you should go home now." Saeran was really stubborn and she completely understand why.
The girl sadly accepted what saeran wants and left. she wasn't planning on giving up but she decided to give him some space for now.
YOU ARE READING
Mystic Messenger: Unexpected love| Saeran X reader.
Fanfiction5 years had passed since the Secret ending 2. Saeran had recovered and was doing a bit better but sometimes his depression and anxiety takes over making him have unwanted thoughts and feelings like: jealousy whenever he sees his twin brother happy...
