Sweet Sister | Barry Allen [ 1 ]

Chapter 24

Lana

Unlocking the door to my loft I pushed it open. I stood outside staring inside through the wide open door but I still couldn't find the strength to actually step foot inside. It felt as if I was in a nightmare and if I stepped inside I knew it would be real. I took a deep breath before finding the courage to step in.

When I finally did go inside with shaking hands I closed the door behind me and looked around the room. I looked over to the couch where Josh usually  slept and then looked out to the window. The curtains were still pulled open allowing the afternoon heat to come in through the windows.

I dropped my bag on the floor next to the door and walked to the window. I stared outside thinking about how I had found Josh staring out also. I opened it and walked out to the rooftop. When I was on the edge of the roof I looked down to the street to see people walk by.

I already missed our late night talks out here as we stared up at the stars. I knew it was going to be difficult to move on and I wasn't sure if I ever would be able to. Just thinking about never seeing him again sent me over the edge. I turned back to the sofa in the center of the roof and saw something sticking to one of the pillows. I walked to it and saw it was an envelope. I grabbed it and saw my name on it with Josh's handwriting.

I could feel my eyes begin to water as I felt my heart grow heavy once more. I sat on the sofa and opened the letter as fast as I could and read the words in Josh's handwriting. I held the paper with shaky hands afraid it would disappear.

My sweet Lana,

If you're reading this then that means I'm no longer here. I fought for as long as I could but I just couldn't anymore. I'm so tired. It feels as if I'm not even here anymore, it feels as if I'm just a ghost floating past my life. The first thing I want to do is apologize to you. I'm sorry that it had to be you; I don't want you to blame yourself. You did the right thing, you did what I wanted you to do. I didn't know who else to ask so please don't hate me for making you do it. It has been an honor to have known you and I want you to know that life with you was the best. You were my happiness. As you now know I was being controlled into killing all of those people I didn't want to but I couldn't help it. I don't know how AliPhil found me in Gotham. I don't want to believe my brother had anything to do with it but the more I think about it the more I'm convinced. Just don't do anything reckless, I'm afraid without me there you'll go on a rampage and then who will be there to help you keep your head straight. I have known you for so long that I know you always choose others happiness before yourself, for once please put yourself first. I want you to be happy Lana. This Barry I know he can make you happy if you let him. In another life we'd be on that cruise admiring the stars. Be safe as you have always been. I love you, your Josh.

I read the letter over and over again with fresh tears on my face. I looked over each word and letter because it was Josh's writing. I closed my eyes and held the letter against my chest. I was practically sobbing yet again. Part of me knew I would never get over this and another hated myself for being so weak. AliPhil would pay for what they had done. Josh had nothing to do with this and they had used him.