The Bucket List

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The 28th of May 11:12pm was the time Amy died. As soon as I saw my dad's face I knew. I knew she didn't make it. But I didn't want to believe it. It couldn't have happened. I talked with her only a few hours ago. My dad had called me to come. She was getting so weak they weren't sure if she would make it. I ran there as fast as I could. But I didn't make it I was sure. My dad was crying and I could see he was barely able to hold himself up.

As soon as he saw me run around the corner he shook his head. Before I realized it I let out a sob and everything became blurry as I couldn't see through my tears swelling up in my eyes. My dad pulled me into a hug  and slowly lead me through the door.

As soon as I saw her I slid down on the floor and started crying hysterically. She was just laying there. So, so pale. Her eyes were closed, she looked like she was sleeping. But I knew she wasn't. Mum was sitting beside her bed, holding her hand, crying her eyes out as well.

Dad was awkwardly sitting down beside me, letting his tears run down his cheeks. "No. no. She's sleeping. She's just sleeping." I mumbled getting up slowly making my way over towards Amy.

My mum saw me and moved back a bit giving me space to get closer to her. I reached out and felt her cheek. She felt normal. She wasn't even that cold. I moved my eyes over her face and froze when I reached her lips. They were starting to turn blue. With shaking hands I moved them down to her throat, desperate to feel a pulse, to feel any sign that she was alive. But I felt none.

"No. NO!" I cried out. My mum got up and tried to hug me but I pushed her away. "She can't be... She can't." I sobbed. I couldn't get myself to say it. If I said it, then it meant that it was true. It couldn't be. She was my baby sister. I had to protect her from this. She hadn't lived her life. She wasn't finished here. She couldn't be. She still had so many things to experience. She still had so many things to learn, things to teach me. I felt like my body was breaking, I couldn't stand being inside myself. I felt like screaming at her to wake up, break everything around me. But at the same time I felt like just curling into a ball and hide from the world.

I carefully sat down beside her on the bed. I leaned forward and put my arms around her neck hugging her closing my eyes trying desperately to make the tears stop from falling. I never really though this would happen. I always hoped she would make it. I never believed she would die. She had too much to live for. Too many things she still needed to do. I felt a hand on my back and looked up and saw my mum's crying face. I let go of Amy and hugged her tight sobbing into her neck. My dad came over and hugged the both of us shielding us from the world with his arms. The three of us sat there and cried for I don't know how long.

In the end I pulled away and looked down at Amy. Or what used to be Amy. She wasn't there any more. Her thoughts were gone. Her soul was no more. Now the only thing I had left of her was an empty shell. A shell that would soon be gone as well. I would never be able to hug her again, or talk to her, have a fight with her or ask her for help. I had lost her forever. And nothing would ever be the same. I would never get my sister back, this would be the last time I would ever lay eyes on her.

I knew it was time, it was time to go. I could barely get myself to bend down and kiss her forehead goodbye. Once I left through that door that would be it. With a shaking hand I put some of her hair behind her ear and I felt my heart break. I looked at her one last time before I turned away and walked out, leaving my parents to say their goodbyes. Once the door closed behind me I sat down, buried my head in my arms and continued crying.  A part of me had died today with Amy.

"Come on sweetheart. Want to stay with us tonight?" My dad asked helping me up from the floor when they walked out of the room. I just nodded trying to get rid of my tears.