TAINTED | Zayn Malik

Chapter 33| Backstabbing

There were so many colors, fabrics, and prints. The many designs, it felt like a migraine was approaching from having to pick between all of the choices. And pretty much all of them were pretty shitty, which was ironic considering this store was meant to be a high fashion tailor. But nothing I saw just expressed me, the way I felt and made everything feel forced. It was in a way, but I wanted to at least feel the part to sort of act like I was happy to be there.

Back to back Erica and Taylor shoved dresses into my arms, many of them seemed unfit to even be considered a ball gown. It became a large clutter of unnecessary mess in the dressing room, the bench was filled with rejected dresses that it piled over onto the carpet. At this point it was too many to even try to tidy up, the boutique had more than enough. Yet, I declined putting on anymore. It seemed to be way too difficult, none of them even expressed the way I felt or seemed like it was perfect for me.

I pulled my top or rather so, Zayn's top back over my head and pulling my hair back. I looked at the reflection one last time, before opening the door and heading out. I could hear the laughter of the girls, talking to my mother in the front while they both tried on their dresses for her. I rolled my eyes, walking around the side as they both put on a show to be her test dummies to keep the target off my back. At least for a little bit...

The entire morning they both tried to feed her with old memories, beauty tips, hospital facts and more to keep her busy. It made everything better for me, the less talking I had to include and ridding the small amount of stress I had on shopping with her. I propped myself in the corner of the store, looking out the window as the droplets from the heavy rain poured down. The gloomy weather making the crystal glass foggy, I blew on it and creating more steam onto the window. Drawing my finger over it, imprinting the glass with my doodles. The half finished ladybug was almost done when I heard a throat clearing behind me, I sighed and turned around with a bored expression on my face.

The sales clerk looked at me with a bright expression, smiling at me with all of her teeth showing while a yellow pin tag with her name marked her clothing.

"Hi, I was just wondering if you're done with the dresses in your section of the dressing room and would like to purchase." Her voice higher than I wanted to hear, I walked past her going to collect my bag.

"Nope." I said, rummaging through it and pulling out my phone. "I couldn't find anything I liked, I'm sorry."

In the corner of my eye I could see Denzel plopping down in the corner of the store, flipping through a magazine while Taylor somehow managed to sneak away from my mother to speak to him. Both of them whispered to each other in what appeared to be a serious tone, the expressions making me wonder if something else happened that I was unaware about...

The past few days seemed like time was ticking away from me, all of this allowing me to get too far in depths into my mind. I almost felt like I was drowning, but everyone else was too busy focused on building a boat to even notice. My body submerging underneath the water, my eyes not adjusting to the darkness as I kept being pushed over by the large current. It represented so much and I could tell it was taking a lot out of me. My game wasn't as good as the way I looked, I could put up this act of being completely fine but this wasn't okay. My appearance seemed to show way better than I could say to anyone, and that was a lot.