TAINTED | Zayn Malik

Chapter 51 | You can't put out that fire in you.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

I shouldn't have said anything when it came to both of us agreeing to this, because now that I stand here in my own room. I realized how big of a mistake it was, the damn thing barely even fit and it was a struggle to button the rest past my breasts. I wasn't in a too giving mood tonight so I figured that it was better to just leave my bra on while it stayed unbuttoned. It wasn't like I could attempt at doing this when it wasn't doing anything at all. Plus he just walked around with me as I wore tennis shoes, jeans and a sweaty black tank top I wore the entire day. So after I showered, this was all I could do.

I took a deep breath while looking in the mirror, after shoving the sleeves up to free my forearms. Since I was going to be cooking I didn't find the need to fully do my hair, just pushing the damp strands into a ponytail before shutting off the light. Already, I could hear the sound of pots and pans being moved around while the faucet ran, loudly. My phone buzzed in the corner of the room three times as soon as I was reaching for the door. As much as I wasn't in the mood to hear from anyone right now, I couldn't help but to be a tad curious about what's been going on back home.

I quickly walked over, picking it up just to see who even messaged me. I scrolled down seeing texts from Erica, my mom, McKenzie and then finally Ben. I slowly clicked on his name, watching as it popped up.

'Where the fuck are you? Someone broke into my fucking car and I don't know how, but your engagement ring was there as well.'

I scrolled again.

'Seriously? Ry'dieonne don't do this right now, I don't have time for your bullshit. Answer me.'

And again...

'You wanna do this now? Out of all times when I need you? You would think you'd actually care since I recall taking your virginity in that damn-'

I turned the phone off as quickly as I rushed to get the damn thing, knowing the rest were on the same verge of degrading. I knew he would attempt to do that, make it a thing to throw it in my face when the situation was serious. But little did he know, he didn't take my virginity at all. I lost it a long time ago before I even fully got with him, I just had to tell him so that he wouldn't throw me under the bus. Calling me out of my name to his friends, just like at that party months ago. He would find ways to blame it on me and I knew this wasn't anything I needed in my life. I deserved so much better than what I was getting, part of me knew that. But I didn't because he was there when I needed him, yet nowadays it feels like I don't have anybody. No one in my corner knew what I was going through, and I couldn't have my family or Erica know about anything, so the only person I had was down stairs preparing to cook organic lasagna with me. I could instantly feel the wave of emotions come at me in different ways, some of them being sadness and the others being anger then happiness I didn't have to deal with this. It would've taken a lot out of me having to be around that, so I was glad that I made the right choice. Not just for myself but for my mental health. No one else may have found it important, but I did and that was everything to me.