TAINTED | Zayn Malik

Chapter 59| Comes down to this

AN: Just a little heads up In case some of y'all missed it, I changed Erica's character to Teresa Palmer. She was more fitting and ideal to what I saw, hope you guys can understand.

Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc.

Have you ever felt like time was taking longer than usual for something to happen? As if it went by slowly, just to keep you waiting? It was like that but more superior in my eyes, as if time was mocking the hours I've been waiting. Now, it was the minutes, but instead this wasn't legitimate time bothering my thoughts. No. It was all me. The clock in my head was driving me insane. When I heard the news from Zayn that Erica had been in a accident, it was like everything felt completely wrong. At first he was contemplating if I should even be in town, knowing that certain things were getting hectic. My body was still functioning, just my mind wasn't all there. I felt hurt, confused and most of all, pissed, it was Zayn who held me by the elbow, giving me strength. He was aware Erica meant a lot to me, she was practically the glue that kept my life from falling apart. God, she meant so much to me.

The moment those words came from his mouth , all I could think of was that I pushed her away the last time we had spoken. It was her, she was trying to have a conversation with me but I had been too busy getting ready to leave with Zayn. I was so caught up in my own problems and escaping them, I didn't think about the danger I may have been putting on my loved ones. Just by going off the radar, it only made them stick out. But it was crazy how much that worked, knowing this was a strategy to get me back under their watchful eyes. It had gotten serious. As if the last few times were nothing compared to this. I could lose anyone at any given moment, because I left everything unprotected. Once again, I was responsible for a life being put in harms way.

The feeling of nausea and the regret of the fact that I should have stayed and talked to her in that moment was overbearing, like the realization glued to my soul and made another permanent mark.

Italy was over the moment something happened to Erica. I had never seen myself pack so quickly, I had never seen Zayn so steady as he barked almost a million commands. Neither of us had time to talk after that, because we were going into the middle of a war zone. Blindly of the outcome, yet anxious to discover what was going to be done. He was the power behind us both, taking this as a sign to get back to business meanwhile I was the one losing grip.

The private jet had been ready the moment we were at the airport. Security not giving us a problem as we walked past everyone else, taking our things aboard. All of it had been such a blur that I barely remember sleeping on cushioned couch, with a thin sheet wrapped around my body. The flimsy thing barely doing it's job at shielding me from the cold air, my body temperature feeling numb to the pain at this point. Seconds turned into minutes, which turned into hours before we were finally back in the states just before the sun came up.

The drive to the hospital was quiet, both of us so incredibly close but however we seemed way too far away. I almost reached out to grab him for comfort, but I fought the urge and kept it to myself. There was no time for that, I had to focus and he needed to do his own thing for right now to ensure that I was safe. As well as my family while his own group was just as protected.