TAINTED | Zayn Malik

Chapter 67 | All I can do...

The day grew short as it was nearing five p.m. when the sky opened up and began pouring rain heavily on the roof of his car. The cab driver seemed to pity me as he glanced in the mirror a few times, seeing me wipe away tears that fell rebelliously. He dropped me off all the way home, only asking for a short amount of money. As soon as I got out I rushed inside, closing the door behind me while taking off the sweatshirt I had gotten from Zayn.

The short top I had on barely did anything to keep me warm from the cool air, so I was glad to have a little bit of clothing saved here just incase I had to come back. Although I was pretty intransigent a year ago about coming back home, it was no place for me here in Bethal. Everything I did reminded me of the past mistakes and it was unbearable, remembering those nights of crying myself to sleep.

I sighed to myself as I made my way up to my old room while closing the door behind me and twisting the small lock on the knob. When I turned sixteen my father, the guy I've known as my father, thought it was time I had my own privacy, because in our family that age was big. You were so close to adulthood but still guarded. My dad was more excited than I was, in that moment I was dreading to become of age. The responsibilities seemed terrifying, paying bills and doing things I didn't think I would have the courage to do, but now I wished it was that easy.

In the past all I had to do was lock myself away in my room if I didn't wanna see anyone, sneaking a champagne bottle from his liquor cabinet and drinking myself into a night of lost memories. Just until I forgot about it, but it wasn't like that anymore.

The quietness of the house showed I was actually alone in this, even if it may had not seemed like it. No one knew what I was going through, and maybe this was something I needed. I decided to get a couple of hours to myself before going to see Mona, just because I wanted to allow myself to get out all of the emotions I didn't want right now. I grabbed my phone sending her a quick message, asking if I could show up later once the rain had cleared up.

Once she sent back the address, I tossed my phone to the side. I searched through my drawers before pulling out night clothes, switching to those just so I didn't have to sleep in damp jeans. I was in the mist of pulling my hair into a messy ponytail just so it could be out my face when a old picture frame caught my attention. It was an old family picture that we took on Easter day many years ago, since our family was so religious. There was no excuse why we shouldn't get up early Sunday morning, preparing to hear the faithful word.

Back then I never really saw a point of going to church all the time, even though I believed in god it wasn't like he would damn us to hell for not going every week. But that only got me a stern lecture from my other, telling me that god would not love us if we didn't show him appreciation. Then it made me wonder if that was the case, should I love her any less because she didn't treat me the same as Carly and Brandon growing up? Hell, even Bianca was treated better and she actually did sinful things that would make my mother wish they weren't related by any means...