Collateral Damage

- ONE -

Dear my baby girl Matilda,

By the time you read this you'll be sixteen, wanting to run all over the planet to be the guardian I know you will want to be. I'm sorry that you have had this life, I had the same one. My mother gave me to St. Vladimir's Academy the same age you were when I gave you to them and it was the hardest decision I have ever made. Whether you realise it or not this was what was best for you, I know you won't accept this apology but I know in my own heart that this was for the best. There is no records of me being your mother so before you try to search for me, there is no point.

Wow, sixteen years. I remember when I was sixteen. My best friend and I were wishing we were normal because the reality of the danger of the life we were destined to have was horrifying.

Okay, I need to explain a few things... beginning with your dad.

I was so in love with your father. We had been together for a long time and he was older than me. If you are like me then you haven't read a book in your life, but if you are like you father than you have read every book in the universe. Either way, your dad and my relationship was nothing like you read about in the stories or witness in movies. You know, the ones where the relationships where both parties are significantly different in age don't last. Your father genuinely loved me, there is no doubt in my mind that he didn't.

Just before my eighteenth birthday there was complications and your dad and I broke up, and he left. I remember our breakup like it was yesterday, I told him that I would never give up on him and that I loved him, and he said to me I've given up on you, love fades... mine has. He didn't realise the hurt that shattered through my body when he said that, in less than 10 words he was able to ruin me. Neither of us knew at that point in time that I was pregnant with you. I left the academy after we broke up and in my ventures around the world I found out that I was pregnant. I befriended this woman that I met at the hospital when I asked her to keep my records a secret. I knew how it would look finding out that you were a child of my teacher so I thought it be best not telling. When I went into labour at 3 am on the 1st of June I called this woman and she delivered you. When you were old enough to not need me anymore I left you at the gates of St. Vladimir's knowing that when the person on guard walked past the gate he or she would see you. So that's what I plan to do, you are asleep in your cot as I write this letter knowing that in sixteen years you will open this letter and read it.

I chose the name Matilda because I wanted you to have strength. The name literally means strength in war, having might and power. I want you to be strong and fight for what you believe in and know that I love you, and no matter how much you hate me for abandoning you my love will never falter. I hope that we will meet again but I know that that's unlikely, I just hope that you become the amazing woman and guardian I know you will be.

Love always,

Mum XX

I folded up the letter and placed it in an envelope. On the front I printed "Matilda on her 16th birthday."