Collateral Damage

- THIRTY -

Rose's POV

I wandered the dark streets of New York. Many people would say, oh my god! What the hell are you doing? You're going to get murdered, but right now that idea sounds appealing. The idea to be dragged into the shadows and having my throat slit. Only to wake up in a realm filled with spirits and souls that were taken too soon.

Mason and Scott standing at the idealization of the stair way to heaven. Crashing my lips into Scott's and holding Mason so hard that he would suffocate and die all over again. For me, the idea of death has never been so easy, but to know or at least hope that when I did die, I would find myself in the arms of someone I love. Now that makes me wonder why I wait. Why I wait in solace for my time, old and rugged, riddled with arthritis and praying for death. Why wait?

I eventually found myself, subliminally walking towards the patio of an old friend. A man that I haven't seen, nor spent the night with since I met Scott. He made me better, in ways I don't even understand myself. I silently judged myself as I knocked on his front door. Hoping that somewhere deep inside he hadn't forgotten me or what we had.

In all of my years I have only been intimate with 3 people. Dimitri, Scott and Daniel. Daniel was a close friend of mine. Our relationship was purely pleasure.

The door slowly creeped open as the familiar face stood only clad in his boxers. For as long as I have known him, he has always been confident in his appearance, and yet I find myself wondering why he wouldn't. "Rose?" he asked in disbelief as I realized I was in blood stained clothes from two days ago.

"Hey Dan." I replied, folding my arms over my clothes in an attempt to shield them from his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, "And where is your boyfriend?" There was judgement in his voice. Dan, from the get go, was jealous that I was able to find myself in Scott. He wished it was him I had fallen for rather the security of Scott.

"He's dead." I replied, more for myself than for Dan. "I was looking for a place to stay, if it's a problem I can leave."

"It's no problem Rose, it's just, my wife Diana and our daughter and son are asleep. It's the middle of the night." The smile lines around his eyes were prominent and his hair was flecked with shades of silver.

"It's okay," I said, suddenly realizing that I shouldn't be here, "I'll go."

"You can come in and I can show you to the spare room, if you want?" he said, grabbing my arm as I turned to walk away.

"As long as it isn't a problem."

He smiled at me and walked me upstairs and down the hall to the spare room. Dan and I never slept in the same bed. He had a thing about that. I had always made it abundantly clear that to me the relationship was plutonic, but I guess love chooses you sometimes. I stood in the middle of the room and turned to face Dan. "I threw out your clothes years ago. I can get you some of Diana's clothes." I nodded my head. "The shower is still in the same place, I'll grab some clothes for you and then I'm going back to bed."

Dan began to walk away, "Daniel," he looked back at me, "I'm sorry, for before. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He smiled before closing the door behind him.

The water from the shower did nothing for the coldness inside me. It felt like a hole had been ripped out of my chest and ice replaced it. I felt and I wished that I could turn back the time.

That night dreams of death and loss and brown eyes and old friends filled my mind as I fell into a deep sleep.