The Love That Was Never Aloud

Chapter 1 - Changes

One day when I was in Year nine ,my mum was driving me to school when I realised it was the day I had P.E. I didn't mention anything, I was determined to do the lesson for once. She was only going to make me a letter stating lies, "oh, she's sick", "shes hurt her ankle!". I've had enough of hiding myself. I needed someone to notice. I walked in to the changing rooms. Skipped where the teachers sat, As I removed my black cashmere cardigan my skin goose bumped from the cool spring air or it could've just be from the fear of the vision the other girls will get from my evidence of the beating I received the night before. The girl on my left noticed. I was scared the teachers would point it out in front of everybody. But I had to overcome this fear. As she starred at me a glimmer of sorrow crossed her face, she hid it we'll but in her eyes I could see pity but in reflection of my own there was deep shame that I could not hold her gaze, with heavy lids I looked down and shuffled my feet as a distraction. I finished getting ready. The teachers was going through what we had to do in today's lesson when they were interrupted by a whisper in my left ear it was faint and barely audible but I got a few bit of what they were saying " how did you get your bruises; grazes and cuts?" Then led the dreadful question "are you okay?". I held back the tears but I was failing, my eyes was watering. Why did someone care? The girl hugged me I hugged her back. She said she was here for me, and to not worry. That's the day everything changed.
Her name was Keira; She was a bit taller than me (around 5"7 or 8) Super pretty and was super feminine whereas I was the complete opposite. Luckily my kit covered most of the marks but as she caught glimpses of my back and my stomach she'd seen the worst.

As any normal day I was having lunch on my own, eh no biggie. But I could see in the corner of my eye Keira walking over to me at lunch.  A smile lit up my face, why did she care? Or bother to come talk to me and comfort me? My mind was full with unanswered questions.

She spoke about all girly kind of things, i just agreed to everything she said because I didn't know what she was talking about, we were complete opposites by interest but I liked that; more to learn and understand if you just listen. I was happy I had her. Things were turning around but they were slow. Don't get me wrong I loved having Keira as company, I could honestly say I was happy that day.

Then she then asked how I had the marks, I would've felt stupid to turn this opportunity down as it was basically being spoon fed to me. I opened up but when i did found myself covered with my own tears. I seriously couldn't help it, my emotions were everywhere; my mind was a mess. She went to side were I was sitting crying openly. She just gave me another one of those great warm loving hugs. I felt loved, It was so weird to say aloud but I loved that someone like her was there to sit down and get to the point; I wasn't okay and now I had someone to discuss this with. It's something I've not experienced for a while or ever since my dad left.

When I got home I was full of joy. But my mum had an angry face. My smile dropped into a worried face the face I pull when I know I'm going to get a beating... She said in a stern voice " did you do P.E today?!" " y-y-yes" I said In a terrified voice... She ran up to me and slapped me... I looked away bearing with the pain " are you trying to wind me up?...your just doing this to make me get arrested, I know what I've done was wrong but you deserve it...your always making me mad you caused this for yourself!!" "H-how d-did y-you f-find o-out" I trembled as I said it I wish I didn't asked... " HOW? The school rang me, asking me how the bruises were caused the cuts and everything.!" "You have no idea how much stress I'm under Maddison, all you do is care about yourself. You hate me!" (well at least she got that right...) tears streamed down my red cheeks. "why don't you stop hitting me then mum at least I'll have no marks for anybody to question you about, you've done a lot of horrible painful things to me but why!" I spoke with confidence I yelled it at her. She was shocked half a minute passed and I found myself covered in more and more of cuts scratches bruises kick marks and even blood.... " NEVER SPEAK TO ME lIKE THAT EVER AGAIN, HOW DARE YOU TALK WITH SUCH ATTITUDE!! LEARN THIS AS A LESSON!! She give me one last kick and left me the lying on the floor in the kitchen covered in my own blood... Left crying for about fifteen minutes I managed to get up after the pain started to fade... I decided to get some pain killers this pain was becoming unbearable. I wished she had just killed me there, i bet she wanted to too.... I didn't want to deal with it anymore...

I saw Keira the next day waiting for me outside the school gates a big smile covered my face... I was happy again. As we walked in she grabbed my hand and started swinging it like we were just little children again, even though I felt pain I didn't care I was with someone who cared about me I just tried to forget my awful mother.

We got to science, smiling with Keira. Then sat down in my assigned seat, pulled out my books and pens ready for the lesson. But I was quickly named called from the mark on my face were my mum had slapped me the night before, it had become a bruise but obviously Keira didn't noticed because I was smiling so much when I saw her and left her...she was the only person managing to get me to actually crack a smile she was my everything at this time I had nobody else everybody didn't even notice me in lesson even when I was told to perform my work at the front of the class nobody looked, nobody did. Every time I would show and explain my work my teacher always looked bored an always without fail tried to rush me...

I started to get called names like 'bruised freak!' 'Punching bag!' 'Brown splotch face!' Many more. Nobody noticed how much I was humiliated. I felt I was ugly... I was...

A few weeks past, and me and Keira was best friends. She invited me to stay at hers for tea. I asked my mum if I could and she just started saying don't take your coat off or if you have to out on a jacket, she actually handed me one and said be back by half five. My own mother wouldn't pick me up in the pitch black night sky I had to walk on my own...

I enjoyed being at Keira's house her mum and dad was so amazingly nice, then I had to go I kinda missed them. I had to go back to my horrible mothers house were I only get hurt or made fun of. But Keira's mum Mira said she would drop me off because it was WAY to dark for me to get back 'safely'. She cared about me unlike my mum. I wished I lived at Keira's house at least I would have a wonderful loving family...

I got home, walked into The door to find my mother at the table drinking tea? She said to me " did you have a nice time?" Putting on a fake smile. I smiled back and said I had a good time and that her mum and dad were very helpful and her mum Mira dropped me off cause she was worried of me walking back.. She was fine with it.

An hour later my mum called me down stairs. I came down pretty quick because I didn't want to be hit again i still hurt from the last ones she had given me mainly bruises. She sat me down at the table. I was confused. She said in a calm voice " I'm sorry for what I have been doing to you" I was shocked but that was the first hint of many more apologies she gave me. " I'm truly sorry, I feel so guilty for pushing you down the stairs when you was younger" I needed time to understand..." I interrupted saying " why, what's happened?" " Maddison I know I'm a bad mum, I need you to understand, I feel I should spend a bit more time with you and releasing my anger out some were else not on you." She reached over to give me a hug and kiss. It was weird, she hasn't done neither in about four or five years... I herd her words tremble a tiny bit as she said " I-I'm sorr-ry Maddison I-I love y-you so m-much I just h-haven't shown you I-it lately I'm s-sorry " then she started crying... I just hugged her back and said I forgive you and the a few tears fell from my red plumped eyes from all the crying...

I forgive you mum...

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ohh so shes forgiven her mum, hopefully she meant everything she said to Maddison, well read my next chapter to find out thanks for the reads. I hope your enjoying it please remember to vote and comment i love comments. and please follow me byeee...