The Clown Who Stole My Heart (A Joker FanFic)

Chapter 17

Someone banging and screaming on the other side of the door awoke me from my sleep. I lifted myself up, pushing back up against the door, every part of my body was aching. 

Doesn't Xavier get the hint I don't want to talk to him? 

Rubbing my face, registering where I was again, I snapped back into reality when I realized the voice on the other side of the door didn't belong to Xavier but J, his the last person I want to f****n see.

"Taylor, Taylor" J kept repeating banging the hell out of the door with his fists.

"Taylor, please just answer me." Panic rising from his voice.

"Xavier called me, he said you've been locked away in your room for hours his starting to worry that something has happened to you, I'm worrying about you, look, even if you don't want to come out, that's fine, just at least say your fine and I'll go away." J pleaded on the other side of the door.

"I'm fine, just leave me alone." I replied back to him.

"Alright, just let me know when your ready to talk about it." J replied back to me.

"If I wanted to talk to someone you're the last person I'd ask." I spat back at him.

J didn't reply, so I knew he must of left.

I don't want to face him, I don't want to talk to him, I know the moment that I look at him I'll burst into tears and become vulnerable, it hurts so much that those words came out of his mouth, I actually thought that we were beginning to understand one another, guess I was wrong.

J will never change it doesn't matter who enters into his life he will always be what he is, I've just got to get use to it. I'm never going to be able to change him even if I wish I could, I'm just another pawn in his life.

.........

I drifted back to sleep again, when I woke a few hours later my stomach was rumbling,  I needed something to eat, honestly I didn't have much of a choice I had to leave this room, even though I wasn't ready to face J. 

Getting up from the floor,  I turned towards the door, if I'm really quite I'll be able to sneak by grab what I need and get back in here before being spotted, at least then I'll have more time to figure out what I'm going to say.

I turned the door handle slowly, I didn't even think to look out before heading out because sitting on the floor outside of my door leaning against the wall was J.

His asleep, I tip toed passed him and headed towards the kitchen no one else was around. I grabbed everything I needed and headed back towards my bedroom, walking back up the stairs, I dropped everything that I had in my arms J was gone, he wasn't sitting against the wall.

"Fuck." I mumbled under my breath.

I needed to get out of this house before he finds me, I wasn't ready to face him, let alone talk to him. Turning back around I was just about to walk back down the stairs, only to see J waiting at the bottom of them for me.

My instant reaction should have been to run but I couldn't, those eyes held me in such a trance, as much as I hated him for everything hurtful and physically horrible his done to me deep down I was in love with this clown.

I was about to turn and run to my room when J screamed out my name.

"TAYLOR, please don't run from me, I'm so worried about you, tell me what's wrong, I'll help fix it for you, I promised you I wouldn't hurt you, I just want to help you, but I can't do that if you won't let me in."