In Love With A Sociopath

Chapter 23

Mary's POV

My hands move quickly to find the DSM-V. Being a psychologist, I'm now required to own one. However I've never been quite so compelled to find it as urgently as right now.

"There you are!", I say as I grab the thick blue textbook off my shelf, dropping it on my table with a huge smack,"Alright, let's see here..."

My finger moves down the index, pausing as soon as the hit the personality disorders. I move my finger across the page to the page number and flip through the book until I arrive on that certain parchment.

There.

"Antisocial Personality Disorder.", I mumble. Under the heading are subheadings titled as 'psychopathy', 'sociopathy' and 'conduct disorder'.

Under each of the headings and subheadings are the definitions, symptoms and diagnostic criteria. Ah, you gotta love the DSM.

This is the only time that I'm desperate to find answers in Psychology. 

Kevin has been acting strange lately.

VERY STRANGE.

He's been taking his medication everyday in front of me like he's supposed to. And although that keeps me at ease a bit, the aftermath is so incredulous. 

He wasn't bluffing when he told me that the side effects are a living hell.

"Ah ha!", I exclaim as soon as I find "cure" under 'Antisocial Personality Disorder'. Although my heart falls as soon as I realize that it's nothing that I wasn't already told.

It says that there is no cure for Antisocial Personality Disorder. In some exteme cases, patients can be give medicine, like Kevin, but it will not bring back their empathy. It will only control their impulsivity towards violence. 

My eyes narrow as I read the last sentence. It says that the medication doesn't always have a positive effect and can, in some ways, make the patient even more rambunctious in other aspects of their life.

"Fuck.", I slam the cover shut and rub my temples.

Nights are awful and the days don't get much better.

He's grown much more....aloof lately. And there is a clear sense of hostility in his manner now too. He's just grown so detached.

He hasn't been getting much sleep at night; he told me he's been having a lot of anxiety lately. But during the day, he's extremely exhausted. I find him crashed on the couch many times. But his sleep schedule isn't the only thing out of ordinary.

He looks very....dull and unamused with life. That was something that worried me so much at first. Boredom is extremely dangerous for sociopaths and psychopaths. The reason is that they constantly crave excitement; which is why they get in so much trouble unless they're high functioning. But even they can't control themselves sometimes.

I was afraid that Kevin would do something complelety unspeakable.

But Kevin doesn't look like he wants much excitement. It's as if he's given up on life now. Not in a suicidal way, but in a way that makes him think there's nothing really exciting about life.

The intimacy of our relationship has been going completely downhill.

We hardly even have a sex life anymore. And when we do make love, he's showing absolutely no emotion whatsoever. He doesn't even show lust anymore. It's as if he considers sex just a rare necessity. And afterwards, we don't lay in eachothers' arms like most couples do; he just gets up and takes a shower.