sh•mg | oneshots

Spin Yourself In Circles 💭

(perfect song that doesn't come on youtube but on Spotify)

Prompt: The night after the 'Stranger Things' parody was filmed.

Setting: IRL

Words: 481
•••••

It's ten past two. I haven't closed my eyes yet.

We filmed a part of next week's Superfruit video today. Everything went as planned. It was nice to work with some friends we hadn't seen in a while.

But, they weren't the problem.

I don't even know. I don't know what to say; don't know how to articulate how I feel or why my brain has gone hyperactive.

I can still feel him.

This isn't the first time my mind has wondered. This isn't the first time an episode forced my attention to an ongoing problem I constantly try to ignore.

I think it was the episode where he wore the lipstick Nicole got for him on camera. He was wearing blue plaid; I had my new Off-White camouflage jacket.

He- he had said he thought about us in a non-platonic way. It was a dream, but it happened. I played it cool, but it lead me to one of these nights.

Silence is a dangerous thing.

I rolled over.

Again, in our 7/11 video. The way he moved against me. The way he looked...

I can't stop. I need to stop.

"It'll be a perfect scomiche tease." They said.

The fans aren't the only ones being led on.

We were Nancy and Steve.

It was just acting.

It was just acting, but it felt so natural. It made me wish...

Nothing makes sense. I shouldn't-

He's had these thoughts before; this is normal. We spent every second together, of course our minds should wander.

It felt so nice to hold him, to 'kiss' him. I wish I could kiss him.

I feel guilty. I feel as if he can hear my thoughts. I can hear him. He's taking his nighttime bathroom trip. I know his routine. Does he know mine?

Why does it even matter? We're not a thing. This was discussed and agreed on. Plus, I have a thing for someone else. He probably does too.

He probably does too.

Why does that make me sick?

Would we ever try? Would something happen? A drunken mistake? A dare? Something to convince me that this is a platonic relationship?

Because, when I look at him...

I'm spinning myself in circles.

This has to be unhealthy.

I know everything about him. How he ticks, what he likes, his interests, his passions.

No one could ever out-Mitch me.

Am I challenging an unknown being? This is unhealthy.

It's late. My thoughts have a right to be scattered.

I squeezed my eyes shut.

If I ever dreamt about him, how would it go? How would I feel when I awoke?

He said it was because he was subconsciously in love with me.

He said it for the camera.

And now I'm angry.

And now I'm sad.

Because, Scömíche?

It's just for the camera.