The Way He Lies | One

|Chapter Fifteen|

Trigger warning: details of rape and self harm.

Previously in The Way He Lies: Demi is still coming to terms with her pregnancy news when she learns that Wilmer has passed on the business to Stephanie and moved states.

The past month had been a mess. I quit my job, and the abuse was worse than ever. I was terrified that he was going to hurt the baby. I knew I should just leave, but I couldn't. I was scared. I was scared that if I tried to escape, he was going to catch me and hurt me. Kill me, even.

I felt empty.

Drained.

If it weren't for this baby inside of me, I know I would have killed myself by now.

My mental health had declined so quickly.

The thought of Nick, my husband, with another woman, my best friend, made me sick to the stomach. I cried every time I thought about it. I cried about how I'm not good enough for Nick, how I wasn't good enough for Wilmer... I will never be good enough for anyone.

I didn't want to have sex with Nick anymore knowing that he had cheated on me. Knowing that he did it and had no regrets what so ever.
I didn't want to have sex with Nick anymore, but I didn't have a choice.

When I showered, I scrubbed myself to the point of bleeding sometimes. Especially after he was done with me.
It wasn't even enjoyable for me anymore. He didn't care if I wasn't prepared down there. He didn't care if it hurt, or if he tore something. He didn't care how much I cried or begged him to stop.

He didn't care about the cuts covering my skin. The cuts that for once weren't cause by him, but were done by my own hand.

The cuts which I wished so many times would be deep enough to just end it all.

The cuts, that while wishing that, I intentionally didn't go too deep because I was holding another life inside of me.

For Nick, I was a human sex doll and house maid.

I cooked, I cleaned, I spread my legs when he told me to.

I didn't know what was wrong with me anymore. I was a big ball of nothing. When Nick would hit me, I wouldn't scream or beg him to stop. I wouldn't say anything. I would wince at the pain and cry about it when he couldn't see me. I was numb.

I needed to survive until this baby was going to start showing. I had to plan how to leave without getting caught. I had to gain his trust, be his perfect wife, I had to get him to loosen his reigns on me... then I could leave.

The only motivation I had to do this was my baby.