everything is red [jd.tj]

ch. 1

Tyler
"Tyler, can you go to the attic and replace the pail with a new one?" Her sweet voice spoke. If only that same tone lasted through the darkest nights. I went up the creaky ladder carefully, just anticipating the day a step breaks. I pull the pail that's overflowing with water, and replace it with a newer one. I bring the filled pail down the ladder with me and hand it to my mother.

"Thanks dear." She says, taking the bucket away from me and putting it in our large bathtub. That's where we keep our water. We have no electricity and no running water, so that's how we get it. I nod in response and go down into the basement. The only nice thing we have is this piano. I let my fingers graze along it, feeling the shiny wood underneath my little tips. This is where I sleep too, in the basement. I sleep on a thin mattress and a hand made blanket from my dead grandmother. My three other siblings sleep down here too. We usually come down here to hide from our mom when she's in her bad state. That being one of the reasons we barely have any money. I have to protect them sometimes from her swings, Zack sometimes helps defend Madison and Jay, but he's small too.

I sit down on the bench and study the piano, like I've never seen the structure before. I look to my right and see Madi playing with her only toys- a little dog and a rabbit. I then look to my left and see Jay laying in his somewhat made up crib, giggling happily. A small smile ghosts my face. I see Zack reading a book in the corner of the room. It's hard to communicate with them, so that's why we all came up with our own language, language we use around our mom as well. Since we can't go to a school, the only way for us to learn is by going to the library. Luckily, the librarian is very kind and let's us borrows books for free all of the time. That's how Zack got the book he's currently reading now. I sighed as I let my fingers do their own little patterns against the white and black keys. It was a song I made up a long time ago. I heard Madi humming along to it softly. She knew the words and everything because I play this song whenever I'm feeling sad, which is very often.

Suddenly, we all jolted our heads up at the sound of glass shattering. There she goes. I give a look to all of my siblings and they nod. This look meant, 'stay down in the basement or you will actually die' no joke, it's almost happened to me. Now it was time for Zack to act older than he is. I hated how we all had to grow up too fast. I just wanted them to live a normal childhood, whatever that meant. Zack dropped his book and went to the basement door and locked it. He looked up at me and nodded. I nodded back and went over to Jay, I gave him his paci which shut him up quickly. He smiled around the binki, making me let out a silent giggle. He's too precious. Madison dropped her toys and walked up to me, she grabbed Jay out of the crib and cradled him in her tiny arms. I kissed her forehead and went up to Zack. He frowned up at me and then put his attention back at the door. It was like this every night. We just had to wait for the signal that she's started her little fits. That signal being something related to things breaking. This time it was probably a glass cup that she probably received as a gift from one of her work friends.

"Where are you little brats!" She yelled.

"Tyler, get your ass in here!" I had to listen to her in times like this. I had to take her punches for them.

"Lock this door the moment I get out, got it?" I whisper yelled. Zack nodded. I slowly went up the stairs and looked back down at Zack. I gave him a thumbs up and he shut the door. I left as I heard the sound of the lock clicking into place. My attention was immediately replaced as I felt a hard slap to my face. It didn't faze me though, I was used to it now. I have a high pain tolerance. In fact, her words hurt more than her swings.

"Have you been fucking any boys for money, faggot?" There it was. I winced, but shook my head.

"I can't fucking hear you!" She shouted.

"No, ma'am." She shook her head in approval. She slapped me again, causing me to stumble back a bit. I'm gonna have to deal with this for the rest of the night. I don't even sleep or eat anymore because of this. I'm always in fear of her hurting the others. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I failed this simple task. I started to block out her noise like usual. All she was saying were slurs of things like 'it's your fault' or 'faggot' you know, the usual. But I was brought out of my daydream when I suddenly felt the cold floor smack against my back. I cried out in pain.

"Get out of my house you piece of shit!" I yelped and ran out. I know I won't have to worry about Zack, Jay, or Madi because she doesn't have access to the basement, so I knew that they were safe. I ran off to the place I always go to whenever she 'kicks me out'. I climb up the slide and perch at the top of the playground. It was a very small one, a local one by the elementary school. Sometimes, I will take Madison here so she could play with the other girls. That's what I loved about Madi, she was so beautiful and she was blossoming into a young lady. All thanks to me. I can't imagine how my future children will be like. That is, if I live to see that day. Once all of the kids grow up and leave, I will probably just leave the face of this earth. They are the only reason why I haven't left yet. But they won't need me once they are all grown up.

I flutter my eyes shut and lay back, being careful not to fall off the structure. I take deep breaths to calm me. The stinging sensation of her slaps still kiss my face. All around me, I can hear crickets, the wind blowing, and the faint sound of the city life not too far from here. I wonder what it's like. You know, to be rich and happy? They say money can't buy happiness, but I can protest against that. Yes, it may not be able to buy the happiness of another person, but it can buy your own happiness. Whether it can be you buying your favorite band's new CD, or having a hell of a time at an amusement park. I would kill to be able to do things like that.

My family has lived in poverty most of our life. My dad 'passed away' several years ago. But I know what truly happened. My mom. She was too drunk off her mind and accidentally killed him. But it was reported as suicide and my mother was never even questioned. Funny isn't it? It's so messed up. All of it. Life, it's so messed up. I hear footsteps in the woodchips. I snap my head up and see a dark figure. I tilt my head and squint my eyes. It was a boy. He didn't seem to notice me, probably because it was too dark. I sigh and lay back down, not really caring about the other person. That is, until I heard the sound of someone plopping down beside me.

"It's late you know." I furrowed my eyes brows and snorted.

"And?"

"Why are you here? I see you here every night. You look exhausted." Wow, creep.

"I could say the same thing." I retort. I hear him chuckle.

"Names Brendon." I make a 'hmph' sound.

"Tyler." He does the same thing. I look up at him and snicker. He had the biggest forehead I've ever seen.

"I must get going Mr. Joseph." Wait what, how does he know my last name. Before I could even say anything he is no longer there. My eyes go a little wide and I look up and around in paranoia. What the heck? I shake my head. I'm just tired and my mom did hurt me bad. But I have no where else to go. I yawn and make myself comfortable on the equipment. I just want to sleep. I close my eyes and fall asleep to the soothing sound of the whistling wind.