everything is red [jd.tj]

ch. 15

Tyler

I haven't smiled this much since before...the incident. I'm so glad that Josh is finally coming around. I knew there was a sweet boy somewhere in there. I'm still very unsure of him though. I just have a bad feeling whenever I'm around him, but yet I crave for that feeling the moment he's gone. I don't understand. I could see Josh talking to Hayley in the lunch line. Just seeing her or even saying her name in my head made my blood boil. I couldn't believe she had said those awful words! I was truly disgusted, but, I used to be disgusted with Josh. I'm sure if she apologized I would cave in and immediately forgive her. Which isn't good by the way. I really need to build my walls up. You'd think I would have already because of my mom, but nope. I always let every little critter seep in through the cracks. It's quite abashed really.

Josh and I are walking home from school. It's raining still, but not as hard. Josh has his umbrella out and keeps offering it to me, but I decline. I like the feeling the rain gives me, it's like little pecks of angel kisses. It made me feel alive. That was the only talking that was done though. I'm just thankful that silence wasn't awkward, it was actually very comforting, which I think Josh thought the same thing. I could tell by his light smile that ghosted his face.

Y'know, I always thought Josh was attractive, it was hard to deny he was. But now that I'm closer and can appreciate his features, he's even more beautiful. I blushed just thinking about him, yet he's right next to me. Of course, he seems to notice the light shade of pink across my cheeks.

"What's on your mind Ty?" I blush even harder at the nickname, making him smirk.

"Awh is wittle Ty Ty blushing because of me? How adorable." Oh my goodness he needs to stop. He laughs loudly. I imagine little bubbles flowing out of his mouth when he laughs, but then I quickly put that thought away because he would most likely be dying and choking on said bubbles.

I finally gain the courage to look at him again. I'm caught off guard though to see that he's already staring right back. I look into his eyes, reading every little emotion that's going through his brilliant brain. I see happiness, joy, and fear. But what would the boy be afraid of?

3rd Person Pov

"Tyler, I'm gonna go out, watch the kids." Then the door slams shut, causing Tyler to flinch. He sighs heavily and looks over at his siblings. They all don't seem to notice their mom's disappearance, they just continue to color. Tyler fonds at their innocence. He almost envies it actually. He had to grow up too fast.

His walk home with Josh was wonderful. After they had shared a very intense stare off, they continued to walk together in silence until one or the other had to go their separate way. Tyler was still confused as to why Josh would be fearful. Maybe it's because he might get beat up, since he's now friends with Ty? The poor boy has no clue what to think.

Of course he's still afraid of Josh, terrified actually, but he tries his best to stand his ground incase something does happen between them.

What doesn't help though is the foreign feeling coming over Tyler. He's never felt it nor knows how to handle it. Unfortunately though, Tyler has a clue as to what it is, and if he's correct it's not good.

He can't like Josh, he just can't. He can't become vulernable for someone nor let alone having another person to look out for. That would be too much for Tyler. Too much. The worst part is, Tyler saw another emotion in Josh's eye today, and he's praying that his poor eyesight is the reason for seeing it. But there's no denying what he saw. He's very good when it comes to reading people, he's never been wrong before. But if Josh feels the same, then that's it. Tyler can't be friends with the boy nor see him. Too afraid to become attached.

And now that Tyler ponders over it, he knows why. He knows why Josh is fearful, it's because he's afraid too. Just like Tyler.

The rest of the book will be in 3rd person unless said otherwise