everything is red [jd.tj]

ch. 17

"You do realize that he is gay right? Like, why would you even hang out with him in the first place, Dun. I don't get it. You can get infected with his disease." Josh sighs, not even taking in what his friend is saying. In Mikey's eyes, being gay is wrong and is some type of thing that you can get if you don't watch out. He treats it like a virus and maybe it is, but Josh doesn't care. It's a virus you're born with, and whether you find out you have it or not is up to you. Some people don't even know that they are not fully straight until they find someone that makes them question everything. I think everyone has those moments, but some people have it frequently, thus calling it a virus. And Josh might have it.

"I don't know man, I just kind of feel bad for him, y'know? After tutoring him for a bit now, I've learned some things and just. I feel bad." Mikey only scoffs and rolls his eyes.

"Whatever dude, you can be friends with who you want, just don't let him change who you are, okay?" Josh kind of smiles at that.

"Thanks Mikey."

He can't do this. He has to shut himself out in order for his family and Tyler himself to be safe. He can't be friends with Josh, not with that treacherous feeling coming from his heart. He can't let that happen. Plus, it would ruin Josh's reputation and god forbid what will happen if that ends up being the case. It's going to be good for the both of them. He'll still have to be tutored by Josh because of their principal, but once that's over, their 'conversations' will be done with. He knows that it might hurt at first, considering he will no longer have any friends, if that's what you would call him and Josh. Also, he's too afraid to speak to Hayley ever again, so that's out of the picture. He can already hear the little construction workers in his head, building and making a stone cold, hard cement wall that no one will ever be able to tear down again.

It was lunch time now, and surprise surprise, Tyler is sitting all by himself. He can slightly hear the conversation going on between Mikey and Josh and he's thankful that Josh isn't selling him out. That would be very bad if he was. Very fucking bad. He can also feel the glances that Josh keeps stealing towards him. He wants to look right back so bad. He craves for those dark chocolate eyes, but he can't give in. Build those walls faster boys! The bell soon rings and Tyler springs straight up, rushing out of that pathetic cafeteria and onto his next class.

"Okay, I think you got it now yeah?" Josh kept saying encouraging words to Tyler throughout their tutoring session, which made things really fucking hard for him. How is he supposed to block himself away from Josh and dislike him too? Maybe if he thinks about Josh's past self, it will be easier because Josh in the past was a very bad Josh. The man who owns the name himself regrets that Josh, he likes this one better.

Tyler slightly nods, and continues to write until his hand cramps. While he's writing, Josh is also working on his homework, but thinking about other things while doing so.

Something is off with Tyler, he can feel and see it. He wasn't his usual blushing, smiley self, which made Josh kind of sad. He enjoyed seeing the boy's dimples pop out every so often. Tyler wasn't speaking again either. He usually has been saying at least a couple words every now and then, but now it's like he's back to being mute completely. Which also makes Josh sad. He could tell Tyler was thinking too much. He could see the gears going at a rapid pace, but then failing and starting slow all over again.

"Hey Ty, you okay?" Tyler only nodded again and continued to write. Frown.

"You sure?" Nod. Frown deepens.

Maybe he was just having a bad day. Yeah, that was it. Tyler probably wasn't feeling it today, meaning tomorrow he'll be back to his normal bubbly self. Right?